Well..last week I was down, on the cusp of those pesky 180s, which I just can't seem to shake. This week, they have been temporarily shaken. Yes, I've tapped into the 170s.
I weigh 178.8 to be exact. I've lost a total of 12.8 pounds since Jan 5th. Starting weight - 191.6 Weight today: 178.8 While I did work hard so far, this time around, I can't take any credit. I ate like a pig in Toronto. I ate like a pig Friday night. But - I did drink my water. And I drank my green tea. And I tried to keep the late night snacking to a near non-existant minimum. Still...I don't feel like I worked for this weight - at least not this week, and I fear it could be a scale malfunction, or perhaps just pure fluke. My guard is up. I won't get away with such behaviour next week, so I am NOT going to allow myself to enjoy this small victory too much, because if I let myself go - cockiness will take over and I'll blow up like a float in the Santa Claus parade. I feel good. I am liking how my jeans are fitting. I'm ready for more. I am also making a promise. Folks have been commenting on my longer hair...well, I am REFUSING to cut it until I hit my goal of 173. Why? Shit...why not? A drastic, short haircut at the peak of weightloss will feel like a COMPLETE makeover and will boost my confidence even more! Until then...it's hippy dippy hair peace, man!
Well, last week was dubbed "fattest week yet" because I had actually gained a pound. I was 183 point 6. I knew what the issue was. It wasn't my eating. It was my lack of movement. I get that I don't have a WHOLE lot of weight to lose here. I might be a bit softer in the stomach than I'd like, and I might get a bit round in the face sometimes, but I think I carry my extra baggage well. That being said: I still want to get to a healthy weight where I'm happy with my body. I want my fun clothes to fit me properly. And - for once in my damn life, I'd like to be able to rip my shit off at a beach without worrying about one of my tits slapping an old lady in the face. Let's face it - that's the bottom line. So...last week, after gaining the pound, I realized that I just had to up the game. I had to move more. Luckily - we had some lovely weather. I walked to work 3 days out of the week, and it was wonderful. And...I dropped 3 pounds! THREE POUNDS! Last week 183.6 - this week: 180.6! This freaks me out, because this is my sticking point. Always has been. I have to push myself to break out of those 180s and get into the 170s. I am less than a pound away from doing exactly that. My goal at the beginning of this contest was to end off weighing 170 - 175. Within that range. I know that's only 5 pounds right now... Well, 5 point 6 since we're being accurate...but it's harder than it sounds. And I've been bad. I had a birthday party which included several shots of Jack Daniels. I went to Toronto which included a platter of pasta that could probably solve hunger in Africa and a pile of Indian Food that could do the same for...well...India. Last night - a King Fisher and another plate of my biggest weakness - Indian. And...Not once did I walk to work this week. I've been naughty with my water too.
So - if I gain next week...and I most likely will...I deserve it. I've asked for it.
I just need to drink my water. Eat properly. And move more.
So while this week was a success...I know I am not even CLOSE to my goal... Still..what... 9 weeks to go?
It's do-able...but it's always at this 180 mark that I start getting cocky. I settle. I give up.
And - I do notice a change in my body. People have commented that I look slimmer. My favourite jeans fit me again...still snug...but I can wear them out.
My shirts that at one time showed off the bulges and curves...hang loosely now. I'm getting there.
More Media Attention for Windsor Animal Action Group!
(photo by Becky Newman)
The demonstration with the Windsor Animal Action Group got lots of great media coverage this weekend. I was on CBC Radio, AM 800 and a nice piece in the Windsor Star - which has been getting QUITE a bit of comments online.
Here's the Windsor Star story, transcribed for all you non-subscribers:
Animal rights activists jeer 'fur is green' campaign By Brian Cross, Windsor Star - February 14, 2009
Fifteen animal rights activists protested in front of a "fur is green" billboard on Riverside Drive Saturday, calling the marketing campaign by Canada's fur industry "utterly absurd."
The campaign's website furisgreen.com describes fur as an excellent choice during a time when people are conscious about how their lifestyles affect nature. "Like leather, suede and shearling, fur is a natural product, a true gift of nature," the website claims. The green billboard from the Fur Council of Canada drew local members of the Windsor Animal Action Group who felt the marketing campaign is a way to hitch onto the environmental bandwagon, said spokesman Dan MacDonald. "There's nothing ecologically friendly about ripping the skin off the back of an animal," he said during the one-hour protest. "I believe fur actually shows a contempt for nature."
The website says the use of furs shows respect for the land, for animals and for people and cultures.
Huge thanks to the Star for objective journalism, on this piece.
Rob Hindi w/ AM 800 did a great story too - which aired every hour on the hour all day Saturday. Here's the story transcribed from their website.
FUR PROTEST 2009-02-14 15:56:26 A protest was held in downtown Windsor Saturday afternoon to protest fur. About a dozen members of the Windsor Animal Action Group demonstrated in front of a billboard on Riverside Drive near Glengarry that says "fur is green". Spokesperson Dan MacDonald says fur is anything but green because it's treated with toxic chemicals and takes animals out of their natural habitat. MacDonald says the billboard shows how desperate the fur industry has become.
CBC Radio also covered the event - which was great. Lots of wonderful feedback - and lots of fur-defenders are speaking their mind as well, which is a beautiful thing. It's activism at work. Windsor Animal Action Group touched a chord this weekend - and that is exactly what we hope for. It's all we hope for. To reach people and get our message - which may not always be the popular one - front and centre. We did it with class. We did it without being shocking or controversial. In short - we did it. It has its quirks...but I have to say - I love being a part of W.A.A.G. I am honoured to speak on behalf of the group. I can't explain why - at all - it is a mystery to me - but for some strange reason, the plight of animals is a cause which I absolutely have to fight for. The need to get pro-active just...takes over and it's like I have no choice in the matter. I can't resist it. I've never felt stronger about anything before. Whether it's something as small as becoming vegetarian...something as strong as staging a public demonstration...or something as simple as raising awareness...every single second is worth it - attention or no attention.
I can't predict the future - but I cannot see myself EVER being passive about this cause and hopefully - I will always wear the Animal Activist badge with honour and pride.
Thanks to everyone - media, friends, family and fellow-activists for feeding fuel to the spirit of protest - and doing right for our animals.
And thanks especially to the Windsor Animal Action Group for making such a profound, permanent change in my life.
** I guess it only makes sense I blog about this - seeing as I blog all of my ..."experiences"...especially if they pertain to media shit storms.. This, is one of those shitstorms. On with it, then.
Well, Happy Valentine's Day brothers and sisters.
Today, Windsor Animal Action Group (W.A.A.G.) will stage a peaceful demonstration in front of the Fur Is Green billboard on Riverside Drive between Aylmer and Glengarry between 1pm and 2pm.
Thursday night I sent out a press release - your basic press release - stating the facts - who/what/where/when/why.
And...Tilbury Times responded:
"Fur may be dead, but LEATHER RULES!!!! get a fucking life."
Seriously.
"Get a fucking life."
Now, I understand this is a story many may not want to touch. Perhaps a fur company advertises with the publication, etc. I get it. Perhaps people want to roll their eyes at the crazy animal activists. I get it. I'm fine with being ignored.
But... "Get a fucking life??"
Tilbury Times actually took the time to write back ...and SWEAR at me!!!?!??!
Now - let's just say: Kudos for being honest. As a friend said - brutal honesty is better than professional bullshit. Right?
Sure. Let's give them that. But the dude was sending that message from his work email in response to a press release. Basically - he was sending it on behalf of the news paper.
I might be a crazy, tofu-eating hippy on the outside, making a fool of himself by staging PEACEFUL, public demonstrations all over town - which may or may not be looked at as ridiculous depending on your stance - but since when is standing up for a cause that I feel VERY STRONGLY ABOUT (the exploitation and abuse of animals) considered "not having a life"????
I responded back - simply saying:
"Very professional response from a Windsor Essex newspaper."
And I got an email back:
From: Tilbury Times [mailto:tiltimes@windsoressexnews.com] Well, it says at the bottom of your email to "send a strong message". People have been wearing fur and leather for hundreds of thousands of years now. You should find a cause that benefits people. Animals are animals and exist for food and clothing - always have, always will. You animal rights people are amusingly twisted in your priorities. We have some in these parts who think animal rights trump the rights of human beings. That is what is at the root of my opinion of your stupid cause. Please excuse the profanity in my previous letter. When faced with idiocy, I sometimes get too riled up for my own good.
"Amusingly twisted." "Stupid cause." "Idiocy."
But my favourite: "You should find a cause that benefits people."
The best part - it was signed by the editor of the Tilbury Times. The editor. I immediately phoned, furious, trying to control myself from letting loose a barrel of profanities that would probably blow a hole in the ozone layer. I just wanted to give him a chance to explain himself. Maybe he was having a bad day. Maybe he went a bit over board. I wasn't going to make a big deal about it. I just wanted to talk. I wanted him to own up to his mistake. A woman answered, and I simply asked if it was common for the Tilbury Times to respond with swear words and insults when groups send them a press release. She sounded hesitant to say anything and asked if I wanted to speak to the man who wrote the words. Of course.
I won't name his name - but we spoke. And it wasn't pretty. I simply asked him: "Why did you swear at me?"
He called my cause "stupid". "Worthless". "Idiotic." "Twisted." Re-iterated what his email said. Finally - before I started dropping the "F" bombs, I said simply: "I'll be calling Canwest." I hung up on him.
So I phoned Canwest - who owns the paper - and many other media in Canada. Forwarded on all my emails to them. Also posted them to Facebook.
I don't want to slander the guy - but I'm sorry - I was holding a community event, Tilbury Times are a newspaper who accepts press releases - so I sent them a copy. Had any other businesses reacted so harshly and hostile to me - I would have called head office and posted it on Facebook as well.
The response that Facebook link stirred up...well...it was awe-inspiring. Shocking. Above and beyond what I expected. It became bigger than the cause.
This was a case of a man - who runs a newspaper - over-stepping a line, and folks were more than READY to call him out on it by phoning and writing letters to Head Office. One local business owner who I know of actually phoned The Tilbury Times and is questioning whether or not he is going to pull his ads from the paper. I have nothing bad to say about the editor of this paper. Nothing - except that he made a very unwise decision and acted unprofessionally. I only posted what he said. The people took it from there. The folks at AM 800 - through Facebook - caught wind, and I was invited on Melanie Deveau's Windsor Now to chat about the incident. The station contacted Tilbury Times to see if someone there - or from Canwest - could speak on behalf of the incident, but they politely declined. I can't see how Canwest would appreciate the way this editor is representing their paper. I doubt they would appreciate their employees SWEARING at someone who was just giving them a heads up about their event.
Film-writer-director-maker-extraordinaire Gavin Michael Booth also got behind me - and shot a video for his How Many Days? project - filmed the radio interview on Windsor Now and gave his own commentary.
I was happy there were so many people who saw this for what it was. To tell someone to "Get a fucking life" - is a sad, sad thing to say.
To the man who told me that: I have a life. And if I pissed you off because I am standing up for what I believe in - good. GREAT. Your words - which were written with ONE SOLE PURPOSE - to bring me down - have done nothing but empower me all the more. So - thanks.
I will continue to be the crazy, tofu-eating hippy, I will continue to be told to "get a life", I'll put up with the eye-rolling, the name-calling, the dirty looks - because none of that matters.
If ANYONE has something they believe in - they need to stand up for it. And if someone tries to shoot you down (in this case - it was by way of a VERY unprofessional response from a Windsor Essex newspaper) - that's all the more reason to hold your signs of protest HIGHER.
This is also a lesson that I've learned, through him: Watch what you say. A) He should not have spoken like that to someone who was merely trying to get the word out no matter WHO they are. B) Windsor-Essex and Chatham-Kent ...it's a small area. People know people. Some people know LOTS of people. You tell someone to "get a fucking life" - and you don't know who you are talking to - it could end up on Facebook. It could end up BITING you in the ass.
I don't want to hang this guy. In fact - I have no hard feelings.
In fact - I felt like (for a moment) that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. But I gave it a second thought. And I realized, I am not.
I have seen my friends - dismissed as pieces of trash by power-tripping, ignorant people far too many times. I have heard that tone...that ignorant, unnecessarily hostile tone used before - that condescending voice...and this time it drove me a wee bit bonkers.
I have nothing against this guy. He apparently - has something against me.
I don't want to make any enemies - but - I am sick and tired of people NOT TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY for their actions.
So this time: There you go.
Get a fucking life? Get a cause that benefits HUMANS??
Done and Done.
I'm going to begin sticking up for myself and not backing down when someone tries to bully me into feeling BAD about standing up for something I feel very, very strongly about.
So there.
If you feel so inclined:
The Tilbury Times Phone: (519) 682-0411 Fax: (519) 682-3633 E-mail: tiltimes@windsoressexnews.com (the same email who sent me the nasty note - posted on their website)
Hopped on the scale. Last week 182. This week: Up one pound. I gained ONE f-ing pound. Fine. I get it. Here's the thing - and this is the beauty of this contest/learning experience: I need to face up to certain realities. I need to go to a gym. That's the bottom line. No - the bottom line: I need to move more. When I was walking to work, this wasn't a problem. But I stopped. Partially due to the ice - but that's just making excuses. I should be going to a gym. Eating-wise: I'm fine. I eat healthy - from all the food groups, vitamins - supplements to make up for no meat or dairy. Sodium might be higher, since I don't eat meat or even much fat for that matter...but - out of everyone I know, I am a VERY VERY healthy eater. I don't drink pop. I don't like baked goods. I can get down with a bag of chips - but I haven't. I drink water. I eat properly. I had a few vodkas and a beer this weekend (my downfall), which is where I am guessing the "up a pound" came from. Ugh. Two trips to the gym would have killed that off and I would have been down. It's both liberating and frustrating to learn that the only person holding me back...is me. That's it. I just need to go to a gym if I want to get into that healthy goal weight. I have to. Three classes per week. No excuses. I just need to do this.
I'm also going to allow myself one moment to curse my weight gain:
"F$CK F@CK F!CK!"
There.
I feel much better. In fact, I feel lighter already.
Aviatophobia: The Fear of Gigantic Machines that Weigh THOUSANDS of Tonnes, Carry People and (as if by magic) Float.
Well, I'm going to be facing and hopefully conquering a huge fear of mine this March: Flying. I have an irrational fear of flying. I do. Even typing the words and thinking of me, sitting cramped in the coach section, 30 thousand feet in the air in a gigantic machine that can levitate over earth...well, it makes me nervous. Life Partner's 30th birthday went down in January - and to mark the occaision, I wanted to get him a gift he would NEVER forget...something special, something that would throw-him-for-a-loop (hopefully not literally). Since he already threatened me with severe bodily harm should I gather his friends together for a surprise party, that was completely out of the question. There are people who say "I don't like surprise parties," and then there is Life Partner - who seriously, SERIOUSLY hates surprise parties. I toyed with The Ultimate Gift Basket - filled with TONS of gift cards to all his favourite places. But that was hard too. "Why not a trip?" a co-worker suggested. Perfect, I thought. Maybe a nice train trip to Montreal...we've never seen the city... Perhaps a weekend getaway in Niagara Falls... Although, he'd have to drive as I'm a wreck on the highway. Bad idea. A New York City getaway? There's an idea. But again, it seemed the best way to get there was fly. And flying into New York...well...let's just say I've "heard bad things". Losing hope that it would end up being a 30th to remember, I decided to check Caesar's Windsor website to see if anyone (aside from the old farts who cater to the gray-haired uber-gamblers) decent was coming to Windsor. Celine Dion. Nope. No one decent. Then it hit me. The alarms went off in my head like the jackpot bell on a slot machine. Wayne likes nice weather. Lots of slot machines. And staying up super, DUPER late. Vegas. Las Fucking Vegas. It was perfect. Except of course, there was no train that went to Vegas and a car road trip would be a tad lengthy. This meant one thing - and one thing only: Flying. Not since 1995 had I been in an airplane, and it was horrific. My ears popped, I vomitted and I thought I was going to crash into a Florida swamp and be ripped apart by aligators. When you're 30 thousand feet in the air...that really sucks. But...people fly every day. Thousands of planes are in the air this very second. I can do this. I had to do this. It wasn't for me. It was for Life Partner's Birthday. See...it's just the concept. The concept...of this gigantic machine...with wings that don't flap...that's gigantic, filled with explosive fuel...it weighs several tons.... And it floats. How? How does something with wings that don't flap - fly? I don't get it. I will never understand it. Which is why I am afraid of it. I'm also creeped out by small spaces - and flying coach...well...it's not exactly roomy. Being an anal control freak, I'm not thrilled about the idea of being 30,000 feet in the air with ZERO options of aborting mission (that don't involve a parachute). It's not that I'm afraid of crashing. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. I'm not afraid of that. Worrying about when you are going to die is about as constructive as pondering when you are going to fart next, out of fear that it MIGHT be in a public place. I think it's the lack of control that frightens me. I am placing my life - and Life Partner's life - in the bowels of a machine that I know nothing about (except that it somehow, magically flies - I'm sorry...jet fuel is jet fuel...jet fuel is not "magic flying potion" - so how the HELL does the thing fly????!?!?) - and in the hands - the capable hands - of a pilot who I do not know. It frightens me because I do not understand it. It frightens me because apparently - a bird can take the whole thing down! It frightens me because, in the case of an emergency - I would have no idea what to do, save for follow the flimsy instructions from a gay steward. Hands: tied. That scares me. That being said: I booked us a trip for two to Las Vegas Nevada - March 21st - March 24th. Our plane leaves at 8:15am. We're going to fly. It's booked and paid for. Done. And now, I have a month and a half to become perfectly okay with the idea of flying. And I will. I'll be fine. It might take 3 gravol and a stiff double vodka. It may take a valium and hypnotherapy... but come March 21st...we shall FLY!!! We have no choice. Rain or shine. I don't know if this means I will be conquering my fears...but I will most certainly be facing them.
Chin up, Windsor...so I can get a better shot! *BAM!*
An incredibly genius story was published in the Windsor Star. Life Partner was reading it and literally burst out loud laughing. It was a piece about - of course - "the state of our economy". The article featured a few writers - scholars, professors - who proposed a "solution": Make the province’s workers the most educated in the world so the bulk of jobs will eventually be filled in fields that require analytical skills and judgment.
Genius! Sheer poetry! What jobs, you ask? GREAT question! Nevermind the generations of people who installed speaker wires and brake pads or busted their ass inhaling nasty fumes for decades in auto factories - these jobs promise a better life: Positions like: "Lawyer! Scientist! Technologist! Artist! Entertainer! Manager! Doctor!" Oh Oh Oh - and my personal favourite: "Chef!" Creative! Knowelegable! Well-paying! Un-fucking-realistic.
While I certainly don't hold the solution - I find these suggestions insulting. Dreamy and lovely - of course! It'd be fantastic if we could all be lovers and chasers of knowlege and embrace the finer things in life...the ones that require a University degree. But let's get real here, seriously. What about the kids who are broke? The kids who can't get PHDs? The folks who have 3 kids and have to work 2 shitty jobs and can't afford the hefty price tag NOR the time to go back to school? Or - the types who just don't know how to go about applying to be an "artist" as the article suggests is the solution to all our problems. No jobs? Not making enough money? Become an artist. Pardon my French - but give me a fucking break.
I don't begrudge anyone for trying to come up with solutions...but "chin up Windsor...there is hope..." ???
I think we need mucho government support - which will not be a solution by ANY means, but it might buy us some time to move into other avenues - like Health Care...like...I don't know...manufacturing, but a different kind of manufacturing...something PEOPLE can do...REAL people. WORKERS. And Windsor - we are made up of hardcore, blue-collar, nitty-gritty hard working folks who are capable of getting in there and getting it DONE. Mould-making...but a different KIND of mould...outsource, diversify... MASS EMPLOYMENT opportunities for the PEOPLE. Not a select few academic positions - which are great...but for the masses? Certainly not. These "dazzling and knowlege-filled" "jobs" usually go to the same, small circle of people - except for those of us who DO squeeze our way in. We call these hard-working folks: "amazing and incredible rags-to-riches success stories". Rare...and few and far between. No, the big-wig jobs go to the ones who have the opportunity, and while it's dreamy to think we are ALL born with equal opportunity: The harsh reality - no. No we are not. We still ghettoize minorities. The lower class is forever paying for the irresponsibilities of the government (many who come from the same Academia which supposedly holds the solutions to all our problems) and their big spending, right-wingish, "fuck the poor because WE are the upper class" ways. That - more than ever - is obvious. For too long there has been ZERO accountability. On EVERYONE's part. From the worker bees to the suit behind the desk. ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY. Money going out when it should be tucked away for a rainy day. Well brothers and sisters...the clouds have opened and the rains, they are a-pouring. And everyone is fucking broke because we all went on a big old extendo-lunch at a fancy restaurant that we REALLY couldn't afford. I'm at a loss. A complete loss. "Artist! Chef! Doctor!" Where's my fucking resume? Hell - they might as well have thrown in "President of the United States". It's just as realistic.
And on another note, while I'm ranting: Legalize weed in Windsor, for starters, and I'm not saying that as stoner. I'm saying that as a "Please! We need to at LEAST have a BOOMING tourist industry to help build our downtown." A tourist industry will by NO MEANS save us...but - if we become a ghost town...if all those bars and that Casino close down - and all THOSE people lose jobs...we just hit the LAST and FINAL nail in the coffine and bought our one-way-ticket to "Fuckedville". If this means rub-n-tugs, gambling, drinking and a couple Amsterdam-style pot cafes...shit...BRING IT ON. We need a break. We need a one-up. Something NO ONE ELSE HAS. We need Americans coming over spending TONS of money on us to help us with our economy. We need every cent we can get. We need something realistic. And I've lived here for 31 years - my entire life - and if it's one thing I know - Windsor is a tough ass city that knows how to party. So let's do it right. Let's also get some moola from the Government...Let's get some moola from tourists...let's give them a reason to come here instead of a few pamphlets that offer an inflated fantasy of what Windsor really isn't like at all...and let's start being realistic. That might be a REAL first for Windsor. I'm no genius...I offer no solutions either...but I sure as hell know that the masses aren't going to wipe the mechanic grease off their hands and hit up law school. Come on. Seriously.
I was HUGE into Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. Smurfs. Snorks. Superfriends. Spiderman. Wuzzles. Gummi Bears. Ghostbusters. Dungeons and Dragons. My absolute FAVOURITE however - was Looney Toons. Tweety and Sylvestre. Bugs and Elmer Fudd. Pepe Le Pew and the French Kitty. The Road Runner and the Coyote (who I always secretly rooted for). I still watch it - there is something hopelessly, deliciously addictive about them - they are absolutely genius, beautifully animated, written with an insane amount of wit and camp and violence and slapstick and humour. It was a cartoon with moxie. The characters, the stories, the morals - they had meat. I watch Looney Toons every night if I can with Life Partner, and while there are times when he groans and rolls his eyes at me and says: "Please, not again..." I know deep down - he knows they are pretty damn cool and ALWAYS ends up being entertained. Watching them today as an adult - I noticed something. Looney Toons is a cartoon which revolves around animals. Completely. It is a glimpse and an interpretation into the animal world, with animal problems and animal solutions, which are sometimes insanely, stupidly simple. Every hero - is an animal. Each problem is a problem an animal faces. Bugs against the Tasmanian Devil. Roadrunner against his predator - the Coyote. There is also a sheep dog, whose sole job and duty is to protect the sheep from the coyote. Tweety - who is constantly pursued by the conniving, evil (yet loveable) cat Sylvestre - who in turn, is constantly being pulverized by bulldogs. Cat vs bird vs dog. And humans. Humans are secondary. Humans are Elmer Fudd - a stupid and clutsy hunter who wants to shoot Bugs. Yosamite Same - a greedy, rich, texas oiler with a trigger happy finger on his sawed off shot gun. Granny. Granny is a mindless, clueless rich old lady who is oblvious and wasteful, literally tossing in bundles of cash to keep her fireplace going. Humans are stupid. Wasteful. Trigger happy killers. Secondary. Animals come first. And animals outsmart them each and everytime. It's genius. It's such a pro-animal show. And such an anti-human show. Much of this went over my head as a kid - but looking back - those toons weren't looney at all. They were bloody genius. I'm gonna say it: They don't make 'em like that anymore. Bugs Bunny is hands down, the wittiest, most colourful, most animated, most intelligent character in all of cartoon history - and before I start gushing, I just wanna leave with a little wisdom from this most amazing show.
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. - Bugs Bunny
Looney Toons is something for the kid in all of us, and I may have outgrown the Smurfs, and I might not be too into the Gummi Bears anymore, but so help me God - I'll be a fan of Bugs and the gang until the day I die.
Once again - it's Biggest Loser Monday at work. To recap: Last Monday was rough - I stayed about the same weight. Mind you - I partied the week prior. Dinners and lunches and drinks and decadence. I didn't lose. But I didn't gain. But, I didn't lose. So - I upped the game. While I still did NOT make it to the gym (naughty me) - I DID get back on track eating properly - following the Canadian Food Guide (except veganized), drinking my water and Oolong tea and taking a nice B12 vitamin every day. It paid off. I am down 3 point 6 pounds! Starting weight - as of January 5th: 191 point 6. Weight - as of today - February 2nd: 182 point 6. This makes me very happy. In one month - I lost 9 pounds. My ultimate goal is to weigh 170 - 175 pounds. It's a strange process though, seeing others at the same battle. I'm also much more aware that I'm a part of the weight-obsession that is claiming North America. Every channel: Oprah - talking about weight. TLC - talking about proper diets. Biggest Loser - on every other station. Maybe it's because more than half of North America carries a little extra baggage in the weight-department...maybe everyone has new year resolutions to lose..but it's everywhere. All this chatter about "emotional eating" I understand that. I get that food can be an addiction - just like anything. Gambling. Drinking. Drugs. Even people. Behaviours. But - there is one thing that I see lacking in ALL these tv shows when it comes to weight: Accountability. Me - when I gain weight - or lose weight - or stay the same, I understand why. I lose because I eat the right things. Or because I hit the gym. When I gain - it's because I gorged on delicious Indian food. Or had a few beer(s). Not ONCE did I hear anyone on any of the HUNDREDS of shows which focus on weight issues say: "I just love to eat because food tastes good and my will power is weak." That's why I eat. I don't eat to heal my wounded soul. I am not a food medic. I am not an emotional eater. I just LOVE drinking. I love eating. I love food. If I crack a bag of chips and salsa - I'll eat the whole thing. Because I love the taste. The texture. And I don't WANT to stop - not out of compulsion, but from lack of sheer will power to say "enough for me, thankyouverymuch." People over eat and blame their childhood. Their spouses. Their stressful job. And yes - I bet people do eat to help sooth the pain in their lives. Of course they do. I'm not arguing them at all. I understand and it is horrible. But - where are the other folks, like me? We are not properly represented on television. The party folks. M.D. - I suspect you - the good time woman about town that you are - you just like a nice ole steak and a glass of red. Nothin' wrong with that! S.C. - another cool party chick who eats because..well...let's face it: It's fun to eat! We are the ones who gain 20 pounds because - gosh darnit - the pasta is just too darn good to NOT take a second helping! Perhaps the beers are ice cold, and go down faster than Pamela Anderson... No one on all these talkshows and reality shows ever says: "I just like to eat because....I like to eat!" Seems too simple, right? It has GOT to be more complicated than that, right? Or...does it? Personally: I like to eat - just because. I could eat until the cows come home and blowup to 350 pounds in 2 weeks. No reason. I just love food. I love going out to eat. I love carbs. I love deep fried carbs even more. What if - for some of us - it's not "what is eating us" - it's what we are eating, and that's it? I love this contest at work. It's fun - because it is what it is. We are left to our own devices. Everyone is on their own...but in it together. I love that. Accountability. Struggle. Victories. Failures. It's comforting and I can't explain why, but knowing there are others in it with me...it makes the struggle feel not as "up hill". Not as hard. It's our lives and our health and I think the morale at work has hit a new high. It's awesome and it's awe-inspiring. The fact that so many of us are fighting the same fight: To be healthy and feel GREAT about ourselves...I think that is a truly beautiful thing. And of course, we're all inspired by the same thing:
Well..last week I was down, on the cusp of those pesky 180s, which I just can't seem to shake.
