Happy B-Day To Me: The Saga Continues...

So...

This has more or less been the BEST birthday of my life.
Sure, I'm not in my own home, where I'd like to be, but that doesn't even matter.
Not only is our entire home being ripped, gutted and rebuilt, but I also get new furniture and clothes. Not that I’m happy – I mean, given a choice, I’d gladly just take my house as it was.
But hey…BONUS!
Life Partner and Julie also gave me their birthday gift…and well…I’m just beyond words.
Check this baby out…

It’s a black and chrome Fat Squire Fender Stratocaster!! I’m speechless…a gigantic thank-you, THANK-YOU – “Wow – what the HELL you should NOT have done this” goes straight out to them…it’s beautiful…absolutely gorgeous!
They have begun reconstruction on our home…at least, the tear-down part anyway. Our upstairs no longer exists…no walls, no ceilings, just straight to the attic.
You can really see the extent of the damage from fire. The attic is black, like charcoal. The walls are all smoldered and soot-ridden…the fire was all around our bed…beside, in front and above.
It’s very eerie, walking through our house right now.
Unrecognizable. It’s both exciting and terrifying. Exciting that we basically get to reap the benefits of an Extreme Makeover – but terrifying in that we can finally see EXACTLY how close we came to…well…NOT celebrating my 30th birthday for starters.
Dying, for seconders.
So…I’m happy to be alive this year, most of all…phew.

Hearts and Fenders,

Dan

Mark Ya Calendars...June 12th!

I am NOT an improv poet...at ALL.
Like, I do NOT work well under pressure...
Which is why, when I heard Juice would be having an "improv" poetry night - I offered to HOST rather than participate.
Mind you - I will be doing an "improv" piece..but - it's going to be a pre-planned FAKE improv piece...
(insert giggles here).
(deadpan face).
Basically, I'll be hosting the entire night - and all the FABULOUS Juice open micers and poetry-peeps will be taking the stage - after learning what they will be poetically musing about just SECONDS before they go on!
Sound exciting? That's cuz it is!!
Check the video...and I really hope to see ya'll there...

June 12, 2007

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Chug a lug, bros and sissies,
dan

One of those "YIKES" moments...

It happened today. Here's how it went down.

I was walking downtown, to grab some coffee for Life Partner and I.
Gorgeous, glorious Victoria Day Monday.
10:05 in the morning.
I smelled the morning air.
No car fumes - only blue skies and marshmallow clouds.
The streets were empty, save for a few dog-walkers, a family or two out strolling with the kiddies...an alterna-chick with a cool, bleach blonde shaggy hairdo on her way to work in some funky coffee shop.
And a girl, standing next to an apartment building door just a few feet ahead of me.
She was looking at me, like she knew me.
I nodded a bit.
She said something to me I couldn't make out.
"I'm sorry, what's that?" I asked.
She said it again.
Again - I had NO CLUE what she was saying.
As I approached her, I tried to place her.
I figured I must know her from around town..maybe someone from Phog...the Avalon...perhaps a mutual friend...someone I worked with once...
I always feel dumb when I can't understand someone, but - I had to ask again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you..." I said.
I was stopping, right in front of her.
She looked me dead in the eye, raising her voice a bit:
"I said," she said firmly, "Wanna fuck?"
Oh.
I continued walking, a concerned and somewhat confused frown furrowing my brow.

END OF AN ERA.

Well.
This is it brothers and sisters.
It's happened.
The day that, until it happens, is always SO bloody far away, the day we have dreaded and dreamed about, pondered and wondered WHERE we would be when it FINALLY happened...has finally knocked on my door and let itself into my life.
Today, I am officially 30 years old.
Thirty.
Years.
Old.
Now - I know this is NOT old by any means.
I also know that anyone over the age of 30 is rolling their eyes right now as they read this, thinking: "Jesus Christ, you little grasshopper...you think YOU'RE old...wait til' you're MY age."
I know. I know.
Trust me, I know.
But, thirty is STILL a big deal.
It's the end of an era.
Never again - for the REST OF MY LIFE - can I EVER say "I'm in my twenties."
My twenties are officially over.
Which, is sad. I know it doesn't mean I should pull up a wheel chair next to the 102 year old in the nursing home...but - it's symbolic. And beautiful.
Thirty.
I went hog wild in my twenties.
I had an incredible, insanely out-there trip of a life - more wild than most people even suspect, I think.

I remember, May 16th 1997 - I was sitting in my car.
I was about to drive home from someone's house - and there I was - 19 year old kid in his 1984 Mercury Topaz (they ONLY came in grey) and I was thinking:
"Wow..this is my last night as a teenager. What the FUCK am I headed for in my twenties? TWENTIES! NEVER AGAIN can I say I am a TEENAGER!! this is it. My teens are DONE."
Last night, I found myself doing the same thing - but this time - about my twenties.
Gone.
I started going over everything I did. All that shit that happened. All the fucked up disapointments, all the AMAZING things that have happened to me - all the incredible people I met - all the LIFE-CHANGING MOMENTS and crazy mind-fucks and failures and drunken nights...victories, tragedies - and I realized - when I was a 19 year old on the eve of my twenties - a University asshole fresh outta highschool -I was DAMN FUCKING RIGHT questioning where I was going.
I had NO idea - and I never saw ANY of it coming.
Not a SECOND of it.
Not a single SECOND of what happened to me - what my "twenties" ended up tasting like - I had NO IDEA.
I didn't even have the slightest INKLING of forseeing what was to come, that day in my car, when I desperately tried to read my own fortune.
And that's what comforts me today, because even though I've entered a WHOLE NEW DECADE - one thing will never change:
I still have NO FUCKING CLUE.
Not even an inkling.

Happy New Year, to me.

Dan.

2007 - a "NOT QUITE AT THE HALF-WAY POINT" year in review

It's been a wild fucking ride already, bros and sissies.
Exciting, is putting it nicely. Being optimistic.
Kicking the year off by saying bye bye to one of my organs wasn't how I imagined the year would start. But, shit happens.
Focusing on the good - I was asked to read at more events than EVER before...
I MC'd my first wedding and it was a hit!!
I opened the show for a Transgendered artist named Stephanie Loveless...who blew my mind. A FIERCE guitar player - and vocals that are one part Marianne Faithful - one part David Bowie. Beautiful.
I read a poem at the Windsor Feminist Theatre fundraiser.
I opened the show for Keith Cole at the Wellington for a gay pride fundraiser. Three poems, one new one.
My house was destroyed by fire. Traumatic. Fascinating. Terrifying.
I heard a man scream, minutes before he passed away in the smoke.
I discovered how fun it might be to move back downtown, something Life Partner and I are considering, possibly maybe some day.
I'm suffering seperation anxiety from my CDs.
I miss my computer. I miss recording poems and playing my guitar.
All that is in storage.
Television completely SUCKS more than I ever thought it does.
I always thought that if I ever sat in front of a T.V. that had cable, I would be completely addicted, but I'm not.
I'm fucking insulted.
James said it best: It's just OUT of control now.
So yeah...I'm a little bit bitter that I have to spend the nicest months of the season trapped in a hotel room, not that it isn't an adventure.
I drove by my house today on the way home from the grocery story and saw that the entire neighborhood has blossomed.
It's all green and thick and beautiful - and I actually got choked up.
For the first time, I really REALLY missed home..in a bad way. It's backyard patio time! We're supposed to be making fun mix CDs, stocking up on Sleeman's Clear and having late nights in the moonlight, counting fireflies.
BUT - it's a learning experience.
Hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime experience...but...the good thing about "once in a lifetime" experiences are impossible to walk away from without learning something about...something.
All this - and I'm turning 30 in 15 days.
I'm not just leaving my twenties with a bang.
I'm burning the fuckers down...but I don't think it's going to be easy to "never look back."

hearts and farts,

Dan