Art Matters TV Cogeco Reading

We taped the TV Cogeco discussion panel - Art Matters last night.
I opened the evening up with a poem called "Some Takes on Art" - brand new poem I wrote especially for the night.
It went over well.
The crowd smelled like University, politicians and money - 3 things that really, in my opinion have NOTHING to do with being an artist WHATSOEVER, even if the worlds might collide or overlap once in a blue moon - Ted Boomer said it best when he said: "Leave politicians out of art."
Another local artist Gavin Booth said the same, in different words:
If you want to make art - just DO IT. Forget the budget, forget the big stars - if you are an artist - you'll make art anyway and if it's good, it'll rise.
True shit.
And - a friend of mine at work today said the same:
IF you want to make art - you'll make art out of a fork and a piece of wire. If it's good - it'll stand out and opportunity will arise.
Mind you - no one EVER talks about art in Windsor - so it's pretty cool that the politicians DID make the effort to come out, even if some only used it as a platform to hoist themselves up on.
It's just too bad, a few times - when mayoral candidates asked questions - you could pretty much HEAR their votes DROPPING - literally pinging off the wood floors of the bar.
OUCH.
Best to stick with what you know..but fuck it! What do i know anyway.
So yeah - my poem went over QUITE well...it was really cool met a lot of fun and interesting people who I've read about over the years.
Gavin Booth who made that infamous video which brought the action girls up in arms was there - and was a very nice guy.
He struck me as one of the most honest people up on the panel - who DIDN'T have some kind of hidden pot-stirring gimicky agenda...which is cool.
An artist FOR REAL - who just wanted to make films.
The crowd was the most annoying part. Ugh.
Great opportunity though.
It's also always hard to write a poem that is rated-PG.
I'm so full of "fucks" and "fags" and "whiskey" and "SEXsexSEX" that it is truly a challenge to censor my big ole dirty mouth sometimes...but it worked and it was recieved well.
I'll keep everyone posted when it airs.
Interesting to hear the different takes on art.
I'm gonna start writing a NEW series of pieces "The Bible Welt" which I invented a few nights ago and I took a few notes down - SUPER RUSHED - just so I wouldn't forget.

Again - I'll keep ya posted...
Hey - I also launched a PERSONAL my space account (i know i know...i've bought into my space...whatever. who gives a shit.)
I have two!
LOL!
Of course - the Girlie So Groovie one:
www.myspace.com/girlbandsrock

and my own personal writing one:
www.myspace.com/deadshark77

visit puruse and enjoy...I'll be posting the Bible Welt on there eventually.

hearts and farts,
dan

My Next Reading: Shortbus premiere

Howdy folks...
I was asked to read at another cool event.
The Windsor Film Fest is coming up very soon - this November - and there is a movie called "Shorbus" which is apparently PRETTY heavy shit.
It is directed by John Cameron Mitchell - who I have been a VERY big fan of for about 7 years - ever since he did the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch - he's worked w/ the likes of Sleater-Kinney, Brad Wood - all kinds of INCREDIBLE people...
Apparently, his newest flick stars none other than SOOK YIN LEE - who was HANDS DOWN my FAVORITE much music VeeJay - even if only for the fact that she hosted my FAVORITE late night show "THE WEDGE" - which, in the pre-internet days of my highschool was my ONLY outlet to semi-decent music and has easily set the bar for the artists I call my favorites today :)
The film also stars "BITCH" from Bitch and Animal - who I have been a fan of since 1998!!! She is INCREDIBLE - amazing feminist queer performer who is MEGA influential - if you haven't heard her Pussy Manifesto - you gotta check that shit out....anyway, i just gotta pound in HOW excited I am to be even REMOTELY involved with ANYTHING this amazing chick is a part of...
ANyway...a friend of mine contacted me - saying that one of the promoters of the Windsor Film Fest SPECIFICALLY asked about me, and if I would be interested in SLAMMING at the AFTER PARTY when this film makes its Windsor PREMIERE!!!
How cool is that shit!!
november 10th - 1am in the morning - I'm gonna be SLAMMING about this flick!!
ANyone know any more info about this thing? I hear it is supposed to be PRETTY steamy...
at any rate - mark your calendars folks...
I'll be playing the SHORTBUS premiere!!!

Hearts and oral cumshots (at least, so I hear there is one in this flick!!)

PS - This should actually be called my NEXT NEXT NEXT reading...because i will actually be doing a "Karaoke Slam" competition this Tuesday at Phog - and then this Wedneday - I'm gonna be at the Room (with a Cue) to open up the TV Cogeco "Art Matters" panel discussion....and THEN - Nov 10th - i'll be doing Shortbus...more info to come!

Peace brothers and sistaz...

Dan

My Fave Show as a Kid

Of course, I always preferred The Misfits to Jem and the Holograms, I'm sure I gave plenty a headache to my father, when, for my tenth Xmas, my list consisted of "Aja, Shayna, Kimberly and Stormer" dolls. Something about girls with guitas and funky make-up just rocked my WORLD!!! Go Figure. Whoever made this video comes from the same camp I did.

Pot Stories

It's funny the big deal still being made about pot as a dangerous drug.
"Cannabis is illegal because it can be harmful, as can all drugs," William Butler, spokesman for drug treatment charity Addaction said recently, after George Michael spoke up about how much he loves getting baked.

George Michael recently did some interview - and he smoked a joint during it, praising his favourite green herb and crediting it to keeping him "happy and sane".

Mind you, the interview took place in Spain - where Marijuana consumption is LEGAL - so what the FUCK is the bullshite about??

Even if it WASN'T done in Spain...seriously..what the fuck is the bullshite about??

Check this story out - from our very own Windsor Star:

Smell of marijuana leads to raid on grow operation
Windsor StarPublished: Saturday, October 21, 2006

A keen sense of smell while on an unrelated call led police to a marijuana grow operation in an Edinborough Street apartment.
Windsor police were called to the 600 block of Edinborough on Thursday and detected the strong smell of marijuana coming from the upper unit at 623 Edinborough St.
The drug enforcement unit was notified and prepared a search warrant which was executed at around 4 p.m. Thursday.
Inside officers found seven mature marijuana plants growing under high-intensity lighting.
The potential street value of the marijuana is estimated at $4,638.
A 51-year-old Windsor man was arrested and is facing charges of production of a controlled substance and trafficking. He has been released to appear in court at a future date.

-end-

Now don't we have BIGGER fish to fry, for real?
A good friend of mine is close-friends with a police officer.
She tells me that crack, as of right now - is a HUGE problem in Windsor.
It's related to all kinds of crime - from theft, to murder - and linked to some MAJOR problems facing the city - especially in certain areas of town.
The same police officer stated that this time next year - CRYSTAL METH is going to be even BIGGER a problem...

Now, is pot being cracked down upon because it is still looked at as a "gateway drug"?
Is it a gateway drug?
Everyone I know "dabbles" in marijuana now and then -and none of them have ANY kind of drug problem.
In fact - if it was a gateway for anything - it might have led to a little bit of creativity at best - or perhaps a few extra pounds gained in munchies, at worst.

of course, I don't know half the story.
Perhaps for many it IS a gateway drug - and can only cause HARM and TERROR in the lives of people who I will NEVER be able to relate to.
But as far as I see it...the demonization of marijuana and the arguments AGAINST the legalization of weed are becoming weaker and weaker EACH year. Each day.
Take the above story for instance.
The only thing that man was arrested for - was "trafficking".
Trafficking WHAT??
A substance - that in truth - does nothing except give someone the giggles and some munchies for about 2 hours.
Non addictive. Non expensive.
And they just found out it MIGHT even save people from developing Alzhiemer's Disease. (sp?).

No one's ever died...no one's ever been VIOLENT...and no one ever puts a cap in someone's ASS over weed.

So my question...why is it still illegal? Legalize it - and then start arresting people for trafficking the DAMAGING shit.

hearts and farts,

the magic dragon.

Absolutely Incredible

This story is pretty amazing...it's incredible what we can learn from animals - especially our pets - who obviously, love us more than they even love themselves.I think there's a message for EVERYONE in this story, for real...

ELKHART LAKE, Wisconsin (AP) -- After a disabled woman's cat started a house fire, her specially trained dog came to the rescue, then died trying unsuccessfully to rescue the cat.
Jamie Hanson said her 13-year-old dog Jesse brought her artificial leg and a phone she used to call 911.
"She got me outside and then she heard the cat upstairs and she went up there to get the cat, and she wouldn't come back to me," Hanson, 49, said at a news conference Monday at Aurora Sheboygan Memorial Medical Center, where she was being treated for her injuries.
She received third-degree arm burns in the fire Sunday night at her home in Rhine, south of Elkhart Lake. Both pets died.
Hanson, who lost a leg in a car accident three years ago, said she was on the couch watching television when the cat ran over the back of the couch.
"And he jumped onto a table that had a candle on it and tipped it over and lighted the artificial plants on fire," she said.
Hanson said she fell off the couch and was unable to get her artificial leg from the table, "so my dog got my leg for me and went and got the phone and brought the phone to me so I could call 911."

Da Sickniss (The Sickness)

It's grabbed me, folkies.

"Da Sickness."

Mind you - it could have nabbed my sorry ass while I was on the road - something which I am grateful for...but...it sucks to have to return to work with a sinus drip, sore throat, slight headache and bones that feel like they've been put through a meat pulverizer.
More than anything - I hate going to the doctor's office.
The crowds, the germs, the waiting...and I hate taking medicine too.
I know it works, but sometimes I think it hurts my immune system.
Maybe I'm totally off...but - I'd rather fight the "sickness" off on my own terms, than have a pill do it for me.
Such a go-getter, am I.
For the most part - I have a pretty decent immune system.
Aside from the odd upset stomach (which is a different problem) I hardly - if EVER - catch a cold or fever or runny nose etc...
Mind you - the second I get an ear-ache...I'm done.
For me - I have a semi-decent pain tolerance...but there are two things that can beat me:

1) Kidney Stones
2) Ear infections.

That pounding, fizzing, popping, throbbing ache of feeling like someone is taking a blunt piece of steel and slowly sliding it through your ear drum just sends me into a COMA - eyes crossed deleriously with pain.

so yeah - I'll hit the doctor if it turns into an ear infection, I don't give a fuck about my immune system then.

Anyway, it started Sunday morning - our first morning back from the trip.

I was thrashed from my slumber at 7am with a nausea so intense it was excruciating.
I made way instantly to the bathroom and emptied the very LIMITED contents of my tummy into the welcoming embrace of Mr. Toilet Bowl.

I proceeded to vomit every hour - on the hour - until 1pm.

It was awful.

I beached myself on the couch, Roseanne Barr-style and just wallowed in my own feverish sweat - pumped full of gravol and tylenol and waited for the next wave of nausea to overtake me and wash me away once again to the bathroom.

A hangover couldn't have been that bad, I tell ya.

Then it stopped. And I felt gradually better - and by 7pm that night, I was eating solid foods and I felt bloody well great.

Shoulda knocked on wood.

Come Monday (yesterday) I started to get that stuffy nose, achey bones, runny eyes, liquid-chest feeling that can ONLY BE "the sickness" that everyone gets around this time of year.

So, rather than a trip to the doctor, I'm gonna try self-medicating myself - and here's what I'm a-gonna do:

#1 - Garlic.
I love garlic. And I know it can cause bloating. But let's face it. I'm already a little bloated. And garlic is so damn potent - it KILLS SHIT in your body. So garlic it is.
Back up brothers and sisters...I'm gonna be so pumped full of garlic, you just might mistake me for a vampire hunter.
*growl*...

#2 - Ricola w/ Echinacea Green Tea Swiss Herb Throat Drops
ah yes...You can't be sick unless you have SOME form of sugar-rock to suck on. Rather than opt for a typical Halls or an over-rated Vicks - and while I was tempted by the intoxicating strength of a good ole fisherman's friend (I'll resort to this if I become more desperate) - I was won over by the glorious looking bag of Ricola's - green tea echinacea drops. I'm a firm believer in echinacea - and they do provide GREAT relief from that horrible sinus drip sore throat...and - green tea is supposed to be awfully good for you...so i figured - FUCK - why not??

#3 - Green Chai Tea Triple Echinacea

I figured - the only thing BETTER than a hard medicating candy to suck on is...well...um...a hot cup of tea (!?!?)...and what could be more delicious and soothing than a tea that can perfectly compliment my hard rock medicating candy. It's actually a CHAI Green tea...and it tastes DELICIOUS! Far better than Neo Citron (which I have outgrown - or become too much of a wuss to take) - it soothes my muscles, helps my throat and gives my immune a little boost to help fight this shiznit off.

#4 - Vitamin C

Yes - the good ole standby - Vitamin C - and I don't mean Colleen Fitzpatrick, formerly of Eve's Plum. I bought a pack of Vitamin C candies - and a bottle of Vitamin C pills. I plan on over-loading my body with goodness, rather than actual medicine so that it can wage WAR on "da sickness".

wish me luck, bros and sissies...

danny.

My Next Reading

Hey peoples...I was recently asked to read at an upcoming Windsor event. It's called Art Matters - happening October 25th at Room With a Cue. I'll be performing 2 pieces ( a new one: Art in the Dark and an oldie: University Art Critic - in which I'll use a MEGAPHONE!!!! how exciting is THAT!!?) it's going down October 25th - and it turns out the bar is launching its "gay night" on that night as well...should be an interesting crowd. The guy who did the Hedwig Play we watched at the Loop will be there...as will the guy who gave the Windsor Christian Fellowship the literary blowjob in the Star, as will the guy who made that infamous video that got Action Girls up in arms about his alleged exploitation of violence against women.
and of course...little old faggity me - locked and LOADED with every single thing I've EVER wanted to say to the ENTIRE arts community...disguised behind the polite and charming veil of poetic expression and irony.

It should be EXPLOSIVE with that much dynamite packed into one room.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!
I really hope you all can make it...

Also - I'll be performing live tomorrow for open mic at JUICE at Phog Lounge around 8pm. My new poem is called "BOMBS AWAY!!!" and I wrote it in North Bay!

here is more on the event...



BE IN THE ROOM WHERE ART MATTERS!
WINDSOR, ON October 5, 2006

-- Arts Council ~ Windsor & Region invites you to join us at ART MATTERS 2006
for a discussion about the importance and health of the arts in Canada South at 7pm, Wednesday, October 25 at The Room, 255 Ouellette Avenue, Windsor.
The evening will be moderated by Joe McParland, of TV Cogeco,and will feature presentations by Leading Figures in the Arts Community, including:
-Demetri Vacratsis, Actor, Director and Founding Artistic Partner of Breathe Art Theatre Project. (this is the dude who did HEDWIG at the Loop!)
-Ted Boomer, Promoter and Founder of Bluesfest International Windsor, Bluesfest London andco-founder of Thunder Bay Bluesfest;
-Gavin Michael Booth, Director, Producer, Screenwriter and Owner of Mimetic Productions;
-Marty Gervais, Author, Photographer and Founder of Black Moss Press;
-Gina Lori Riley, Founder of Gina Lori Riley Dance Enterprises, whose film Commedia Fantasiawon a Gold Award in the Performance Arts-Dance, Drama, Music category at Worldfest 2002,Houston International Film Festival in Texas;
-Merry Ellen Scully Mosna, longtime visual artist and President of the Art Gallery of Windsor

Don't miss what is sure to be a lively evening of presentations, questions and discussionsabout the health of the arts in Canada South!

We make great pets...

There was a survey recently where random windsor people could call in and/or vote online about whether or not they would give up their pet if they started seeing someone who did not want a pet.
74% said they would give the pet up.
859 people partook of this survey...and it truely is mostly random people from around the city - all of various demographics.
So the majority of 859 people WOULD give up their pet for a budding romantic relationship.
When I pointed out how ridiculous I thought this was to my co-workers, they kind of snickered and rolled their eyes and said "typical Dan.."
Here is my take - and this is solely my take:
I understand that pets are supposed to enrich our lives.
But - that is ONLY half of it.
When we adopt an animal into our life - my take on it is that I am adopting this animal as a member of my family - an equal in my life.
Therefore - I have a DUTY.
My duty is to make sure this animal is cared for and made to feel as comfortable as it possibly can.
I think too many people see "getting a pet" as something that is going to be nothing but fun.
Sorry - it's not always a ton of fun.
Sometimes - you might get a hot boyfriend who has allergies.
Once in a while - you might get a dog who eats the couch.
You might even get a cat who likes to use your favorite dinette set as a scratching post.
If you can't take this - you should have thought about that before you adopted the pet.
I am not saying a pet gets full control of your life...but I think you OWE more to an animal you adopt - than it owes you.
If you are not willing to help make this little furry friend a comfortable home for life - through thick and thin - then you should not have adopted it in the first place.
I don't mean to sound ranty...I just find it absolutely MIND-bending that someone could give up an animal - that depends on them - for a love interest.
My mind just does not WORK that way...maybe I've just been blessed with amazing pets...but seriously.
I can't imagine giving up my old dog Teddy...or my amazing cat Pluto (and I can say without any bullshit - Teddy and Pluto were (and are) two of the best friends I have ever had in this life) because some guy doesn't "like cats".
There are 2 people in this world who will spend hours upon hours with me - curled up on the couch, doing nothing but having the best time of our lives regardless...
Pluto and Life Partner.
I couldn't dream of EVER leaving either of them...EVER.
So it's just a shock to hear that so many people COULD leave their pet...
am I missing something? or do all these people who have pets just not "get it"?
If that's the case...I seriously feel sorry for them, because I think the love a pet can offer is one of the most REAL kinds of love out there...it's based on NOTHING but sheer honesty.
Rather than just make this a hokey blog - I am going to leave a link of all the pets who are looking for homes - maybe looking for YOU right now in Windsor...
Click here....

Hearts and farts,
Dan

Northern Ontario

Well folks...we had a pretty typical trip up North and we are back now.
I mean, what can one say about Northern Ontario.
North Bay was...North Bay.
Timmins - didn't prove to be as bad - the hotel - a Super 8 which had both life partner and I fearing the worst - turned out to be pretty dang cozy!!
Sudbury - ended up being fucking WEIRD as SHIT - even though we were staying in a Radisson. The bed had a funky remote control (sorry, no vibration mode) that controlled the softness and/or firmness of the bed - on a scale from 1 to 100.
1 was the softest piece of wet rag you ever slept on - 100 was the fucking rock of gibraltor.
we settled on "30" and holy FUCK I felt as stiff as a Ryan Idol dildo when I woke up the next morning.
Unfortunately - it was my spine and neck that was stiff.
So yeah...North Bay...Timmins...Barrie...pretty typical stuff...
Lots of fall landscape....lots of shitty little shops in the middle of cottage town...lots of musty smelling hotel rooms and shitty malls....the usual small town mentality folk...
oh yeah..and Cyndi Lauper.
(insert record scratch sound here)

That's right folks!!

Who would have thought - our fucking adventure into NORTHERN BUTTFUCK ONTARIO woudl result in us spending a Friday night in - ORILLIA - with Cyndi Lauper?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

No word of a lie.
The one - the ONLY Cyndi Lauper - performing LIVE at Casino Rama.
Oh yeah...

She sang "True Colours".
She sang "She Bop".
She sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".
She sang "Time after Time".
Money Changes Everything, I Drove All Night, Sisters of Avalon - in fact there wasn't ONE FUCKING SONG she DIDN'T sing that I didn't want to hear!!!

Life Partner and I were floored...we were looking for something to do on a Friday night.
Not much TO do in Orillia except maybe hit Casino Rama.
We pull up the directions for the place on the net...and low and behold - look who just HAPPENS to be playing there THAT VERY NIGHT.

We ended up with MEGA close seats - and Ms. Lauper herself came running down our aisle a few times....
It was weird...she was one of those artists who was on my "must see before I - or they - kick the bucket" list.

And it just happened.
We found out she was playing - and an hour and a half later - she was infront of us, singing her heart out.

and holy FUCK - can she sing.

If you EVER get the chance to see Cyndi Lauper - you'll be convinced that she is nothing short of an under-rated artist - and a TRUE legend worth every SINGLE good thing you have EVER heard about her.

So thank you - CYNDI LAUPER - for making our final stay in the vast, empty arsehole of Northern Ontario one to TRUELY remember.

hearts and farts,

dan

Day 2: Bombs Away...in North Bay

Ahh...the good ole lonesome roads...

Yes mame, we made our way out to the lovely North Bay.
We made a pit-stop in Pembroke, of course.
Beforehand, we raided the local mall - which was far better than I thought it would be.
They had a Coles Notes there (!!!) which brought back vivid, yet disturbing memories of me as a young'un purusing the books of L. Frank Baum, V.C. Andrews, R.L. Stein, Roald Dahl and the naughty books by authors too ashamed to use their names.
"Anonymous".
(insert cat in heat sounds here).
Oh, the boners I popped as a horny pre-teen, in Coles Notes.
I found myself skipping the anonymous section this time around and set about my mission:
To find a riveting book to keep me occupied on the long and winding road that was to become the next few days of my life.
I settled on Running with Scissors - which is a memoir by author Augusten Burroughs.
The only reason I chose it was because someone once said that I reminded them of this book...the way he wrote, his take on experiences...so I figured it was as good as any.
I'll let you know what I think...
Life Partner went to an event and I hung out in a VERY charming cafe which hosted the kind of luncheonette waitresses that called you "hon" and had the loveable charm that only your mom - or the COOLEST babysitter you've EVER had held.
Also - an EXTREMELy vegetarian friendly menu, which was great.
Before I knew it, Life Partner was back and we were on our way to our next destination:
The Travelodge in North Bay.
I really dig that town. Smells great, has a certain "college-town" charm, even though I don't think it actually IS a college town - and it feels like you're VERY far away from home when there, which is kind of liberating and GLORIOUS.

We had tons of amazing autumn colours to gape at the entire way. I love car rides...I wish I wasn't terrified of motorcycles. I think I'd REALLY love driving down these lonely highways in autumn, on a motorcycle.
It's amazing how deep the woods are up here. I mean, yeah - in truth it's nothing - but, Ontario is a totally beautiful province. When you're in the thick of the dynamite walls and the dense forests - it's hard to believe this is the same province that houses London, Toronto and Windsor.
I mean, this is only a fraction of North America - a mili-decibal of Canada - but what a beautiful country we have.
I really hope I get the chance to see all of it - or at least more of it someday.
Our hotel however, ended up being "not so much" in the glorious department.
The bed was NOTHING to write home about, the T.V. had static and even though I couldn't see any visible dirt, I sort of felt dirty after I stepped out of the shower.
Not a good sign.
We ate next door at Don Cherry's - which is a FAR DIFFERENT environment than the Don Cherry's I am used to in Windsor.
An extremely LIMITED menu in the vegetarian department - I settled half-heartedly on a plate of vegetarian nachos (not even vegan, fuck!) and Life Partner partook of a ham sandwich that left him looking a little green around the gills.
Not satisfying.
Next to me were a bunch of guys from an airforce talking about their "officers in afghanistan" in between snipes at the waitress about whether or not their fucking white zinfandel was a 1 or a 2.
Symbolic, I thought.
I felt like chucking my plate of nachos at them and definatly flashing the peace symbol before plunging into a powerful and impromtu slam poem, but then I figured "Fuck it...I'm hungry" and even though my Nachos weren't vegan, they were all I had.
I probably couldn't think of slam poem that fast anyway.
Regardless - the whole event was forgotten within seconds anyway...at least...I thought it was. Obviously SOMETHING about it resonated in me if I am mentioning it in this blog.
Hmmm...
At any rate - I wasn't feeling all that great after I ate and was terrified I was coming down with the flu. Achey, hot, cold, sore, tired, but wide awake..a little shakey.
Recipe for disaster - especially if my next few days were destined to be spent for MANY HOURS in a van.
I envisioned me pulling over by the side of the road, victim of explosive diarrhea or projectile vomitting NOT enduced by a hangover - and then being mauled by a bear.
I shivered and wiped beads of sweat from my upper lip.
Fever.
Luckily, we ended the night on a sweet note...
I passed out - TOTALLY SOBER THANK YOU VERY MUCH - and Life Partner smoked a joint and watched news clips about the shit that is going down in Korea.
Horrible.
I mean, fascinating - but too depressing. I much preferred sleep.
Tomorrow - we hit Sturgeon Falls, New Liskeard and we bed down in Timmins...home of Shania, armpit of a Province.
I shouldn't say that...but - I'm always less than impressed with Timmins.
There never seems like a lot of shit going on...and to add possible insult to potential injury - we have no choice but to stay at the Super 8 Hotel.
YIKES.

Brace yourselves, brothers and sisters...
She could get ugly...
And I just might need a drink...that is..IF I'm not sicker than a poisoned rat.
Fingers crossed...

Hearts and farts,

dan

On the Road Again...Windsor to to (the triplets of) Belleville...

Remember the bit about my life broadcasting in circles...
Here's another one...
Last year, literally - ONE YEAR AGO TODAY - you read all about my adventures with Life Partner into the great white blur of Northern Ontario.
It is with the sweet taste of strawberry lifesavers frolicking in my mouth - that I announce - we are once again treading along the same - or similiar - path we braved last year.
Today my friends, is day one.
The hardest part about leaving this time around - was saying goodbye to Pluto for 4 days.
I miss her so much. I miss her weight on me when she crawls on my chest.
I miss the sound of her pounding down the stairs - which could easily be mistaken for a herd of elephants trampling their way through the house.
I even miss her teeny tiny kisses at 6am in the morning when she wants food.
*sigh*
I miss you Pluto.
However - it is great to be on the road - and especially to spend some alone time with Life Partner, staring at our BEAUTIFUL autumn backdrop as we race through the province in the St.Clair College "Our Focus Is You"-mobile.
Unfortnately, we had to take the 401 for the first 6 hours from Windsor to Belleville - so the ride up was not all that scenic.
Lots of concrete. Lots of fast moving trucks. Lots of Thanksgiving weekend traffic backups.
But - we made great time and our hotel in Belleville -The Mariotte Farfield Inn - is absolutely beautiful.
A queen size bed - eveything is starched white - and feels like a cloud.
We have a great view from our window and I even took it upon myself to get a work out in and spent 35 minutes in the "excercise area", making love to the sweet, electric vibrations of the treadmill.
Thankfully, I was the only one there.
Took a nice hot shower and then blew any expelled calories to hell when I gorged myself on a cheese pizza and two-bite brownies, ordered by a very baked Life Partner.
Myself, I am proud to say - remained sober.
Wait...maybe it's not pride.
Ah...the pride of sobriety.
Perhaps it's my ONLY option because frankly, I'm fiending a nice, crisp glass of Canadian Gold Whiskey, on ice.
Tomorrow - we head forPembroke - and then North Bay.
I'll have to find myself a little something to do in Pembroke for a few hours while Life Partner does a presentation at a college...but after - that we hop back on the road for a 3 hour trek to North Bay to check into yet another hotel.
The Travelodge.
Hope it's as nice as this one.
I always have a great time in North Bay each year, so let's hope 3rd time's a charm!

Til then,
hearts and of course - away-from-home farts...

dan

ps - Pictures will come tomorrow!!!

JENNY LEWIS + the Watson Twins!!!

YET ANOTHER ROCK AND ROLL SHOW!

Saw Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins tonight.
Fucking AMAZING!!!
They opened with a really cool rendition of "Run Devil Run" and broke into the Big Guns - as expected!!
The whole stage had a VERY bluesy/country/gospel flair to it - with a NAUGHTY splash of dirty rock and roll.
Her band rocked - the Watsons are two of the coolest chicks on the planet - and show stealer guitarist and Jenny-Lewis-boyfriend Jonathan Rice is a FUCKIN' HOTTIE!!!!
Turns out he has his own album out - and he was in the movie "Walk the Line" about Johnny Cash playing Roy Orbison (I think).
They played a few new songs - including "Fernando" - which was prompted by a Vegas-style entrance, complete with costume change from collegiate-to-glamour-vegas-rock-godess - and "Jack Killed Mom" - which was a dark little story about murder, played with catchy chords on keyboard and eventually blossomed into a full-on foot stompin', arm raisin' choir tune.
Jenny Lewis sounded better than she does on CD - and her new songs (that I didn't even know) stole the show for me!
Mind you - her old songs (which are also from this year) blew me away as they always do - and sounded better than ever.
All in all - one of the best shows I've been to all year.
But shit...with the Flaming Lips and Roger Waters...it's a tough draw...

WHOOOPSIE!!!

LOL!!! This is SOO Fucking FUNNY!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

Life: Broadcasting in Circles, Twenty-Four-Seven.

Life is fucking weird and circular.
It's insane the way my life, this last year - has been one big gigantic Loop.
Literally. A circle.
On October 1st, 2005 - I got a call from CHUM Radio saying they wanted to hire me on for a temporary, one year position as a writer in the creative department.
You can read my ecstatic blog - which I wrote one year ago - HERE.
How fucked is it, brothers and sisters that a YEAR and ONE DAY LATER (yesterday, October 2nd) - my boss approaches me and informs me that they want to KEEP ME ON!!!
Permanently!!!
This was my NUMBER ONE GOAL with this maternity leave...to find a way to get in there FULL TIME.
So yeah...the girl who had the baby is going to come back - but it looks like they created a WHOLE NEW position for me - and I am going to STAY ON as a WRITER!!!!
I am absolutely ecstatic...and I really don't mean to gush and I certainly don't mean to brag...but for real - I love this job SOOOOOOO MUCH - I am not even sure I know how to relay it into words.
If I woke up this second - and realized it was all a dream...I wouldn't be a bit surprised - because it's been that good. So good it's surreal.
In fact - it's been beyond my expectations.
Writing is my favorite thing in the world. It gives me the most peace - more than anything because..I don't know..it's some kind of outlet to release thoughts - happy, sad, funny - whatever. It's a release. And it's fun. It makes me think about things in a different way and get a perspective on them.
Basically - writing lets me spend time in La La Land.
I get to spend ALL DAY now - and be PAID - to hang out in La La Land.
Sure - it's writing commercials - but there is so much freedom to it!
I make up skits all day!
I try to think of different slants!
I get to cheese it up - or get down and serious and FOR REAL try to create something that might resonate - something that is 100% my own humour - from the thoughts in my head to my own private jokes and references - right down to my own VOICE and choice of music!!
I've learned so much at this job and I feel like I'm STARVING for more...and this is just such an opened door of possibility.
And I'm in.
Again - I don't want to sound like I'm bragging...I thank the STARS everyday that I have this job because I know it's tough to find a job that you love and that you GENUINELY enjoy - and I never thought I would find myself in it...but here I am.
KNOCK ON WOOD.
I know, I know...whenever someone gushes about how great their life is -it usually means A) They are over-compensating because really they are UNhappy or B) they are on the verge of a manic-depressive break down.
But I can honestly say - I've never felt more stable in life EVER anywhere else.
I'm at a really exciting, yet somehow comfortable and safe place right now and it feels fucking GREAT.
It's also helped me flex my creative muscle as well!! I've been writing creatiely more than I have in YEARS - going out and fucking SHARING it with strangers - and WINNING MONEY for it!!
For the first time I am really considering myself as an artist!! that sounds pretentious - but it's my favorite craft - writing.
And I am lucky enough - to have my craft - albeit a commercialized version of it - but - MY WORK heard by THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE each and every single DAY!!!
I can't take a SECOND of this for granted...ever. It's just too sweet.
So - here's to ME and ONE YEAR and FINALLY being proud of myself for achieving this goal which was so important to me.
YAY! YAY! YAY!!!!!

Dan

Rock-N-Roll Weekend

Wow...saw two fabulous concerts this Saturday and Sunday...
I think one of my favorite things to do is go see live shows.
Why I don't catch more live music in Windsor -is beyond me.
The music scene in Windsor is pretty fuckin' cool right about now, but for some reason, the only night I can motivate my own ass off my favorite pleather chair - is when it's spoken word poetry night.
It Ain't Right.
"Ain't right!" I say.
Ain't right.
So this weekend I got to get out of the house, with my favorite people in the entire world and see a few of my FAVORITE bands in the entire world - live and in the flesh...
I guess I'll just jump right in and get to reviewin' 'em...

Saturay Night w/ Veruca Salt!!!
It's been an on-going joke with me for years now with all my friends.
I think it annoys them more than it actually makes them laugh- but no word of a lie..probably since 1995 or 1996...fuck...1995 - that's when I was in grade 12...my favorite thing to say to people whenever I see any kind of sign near a road with a band's name on it is:
"Hey - guys..what would you do: Veruca Salt!??"
They usually answer with something like "Dan...I'd piss. Seriously. I'd piss." With an annoyed tone.
So you can imagine my delight when I found out that coming to Mt. Clemens at the Hayloft Liquor Stand was indeed none other than: "Veruca Salt".
They've been one of my favorite bands since they came out with 1994's American Thighs album and I am known for USUALLY putting on "Seether" whenever anyone gives me enough liberty with the stereo.
No one took Veruca Salt seriously when they first came out. They were "waif-rockers" - two dumb chicks who PROBABLY couldn't hold their own, save for their one hit wonder.
Anyone who ever thought that about Veruca Salt obviously never heard an album by them.
Their lyrics and song structures are among the strongest I have EVER heard - and I'll be damned if they don't manage to somehow make them catchy at the same time.
Seeing them live kicks ass.
Even though Nina Gordon (the other half of the original line up) left the band to pursue a career with a more adult-contemporary slant to it - the current incarnation of Veruca Salt is as rock solid as day one.
Louise Post can bang a guitar like no one's business.
She literally SIZZLES on stage and gives it her all - and just fucking delivers one of those good old fashione DIRTY GLAM GUITAR SHOWS you just don't get anymore...ever.
Fuck being a pretentious music snob - Louise just BRINGS IT.
She played all the hits - from Volcano Girls - to Shutterbug - and yes - she closed with Seether. She also played MANY a new song from their latest album Veruca Salt IV and all the in-betweens and hidden gems we love.
Really liked Born Entertainer, So Weird, Don't Make Me Prove It.
It rocked. The Hayloft Liquor Stand in Mt. Clemens is a really cute bar. I guess. Seems like it had its own crowd of metal heads - but an easy going mix of people and a PHENOMENAL set of opening bands including Shiva and Agent Sparks.
I saw Veruca Salt (with Louise Post) 6 years ago in Detroit and I must say - I enjoyed the set list a BIT better at that show - but I think the energy was FAR higher at this show - at least for me - i was up at the front dancing my ARSE off the whole time.
You still got it, weezie!!! God I love Veruca Salt.
I was also extremely happy I got to see Veruca Salt w/ Karm, LIfe Partner and James.
Karmen has been witness to many of my "What would you do: Veruca Salt!" liners...probably since day one.
Heee heee...it's finally come full circle Karm!!!
An absolute LOVELY rock and roll evening.

Sunday Night With Amy Millan

Well, I have to admit. I had a few glasses of beer at Veruca Salt the night before and to be perfectly honest, my neck was a tad stiff from my pseudo head banging I did the night before.
Twenty-nine just don't feel so young no more, Toto.
While I was looking forward to seeing Amy Millan of the Canadian group Stars - I was also secretly hoping it would just be a nice, quiet, acoustic show where I could sit back and enjoy.
The concert genie must have been listening because I got exactly that.
The show was at the Magic Bag in Ferndale Michigan, which is about a 25 minute drive from the Canadian border.
It's about the size of the Coach under the Loop for all you Windsorites. Very teeny tiny.
Jeff and I got there right at 8 - tickets said "Doors at 8" - and to my delight - we were just two of about 8 people in there!!
It was great! We grabbed a nice table (how fucking GREAT are tables at concerts) at the front and ordered two beers.
Yeah I know...I was hung over. But whatever.
Rock and roll, right?
(insesrt sound of my knees cracking as I sat down at the table)
Anyway, another amazing night of opening bands...really cool shit.
The Magic Bag was a tad rude to the first opening gal - a lovely performer from Brooklyn who sounded kinda like Cat Power and Scout Niblett.
She sat down after playing about 5 of her beautiful originals on piano and ukelele - and they fucking turned her mic off and put up the house music.
RUDE!!!
So she kinda just left the stage.
I was really fucking pissed and had I not been so excited to see AMy Millan, I would have fucking bitched at them and walked out.
Fast forward to Amy Millan:
"She looks hammered out of her skull," Jeff remarked as the lovely Amy Millan made her way onto the TEENY TINY stage, backed by her 6 piece band - which included horns, slide guitar and synthesizer.
In her hand she clutched a GLASS full of bourbon.
There was a total of about 15 - 20 of us in the audience. That's IT!.
"Welcome," she said. "Looks like it's going to be a VERY intimate show tonight."
And it was.
Do you know how great it is seeing someone who you FUCKING LOVE and ADMIRE and listen to over and over and over again - play all the songs - just 3 feet away from you, while you sit at a table in a dark room sipping an ice cold beer????
Holy shit.
What a fucking concert.
It was absolutely beautiful.
Despite any intoxication she was reeling from with the whiskey - she sounded nothing short of phenomenal - beautiful - better than she does on CD.
In fact - live - her songs took on an entire new force...it might have been an intimate and small gathering who came to see this talented performer play - but the energy was mighty and I think everyone there who was lucky and smart enough to attend - caught wave of that.
She did pretty much her ENTIRE solo album - one Stars song - and a few newbies.
It was cool to see the vocalist from my FAVORITE album of 2004 - live - singing in the voice I grew to LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I believe I had entire blogs about STARS backin my January 2005 blogs...thanking them for saving music for me that year.
Well - thanks yet again - to Amy Millan for pulling me back in hook line and WASTED.
Phenomenal show.

Next week: JENNY LEWIS!!!!

hearts and rock and roll farts,

dan