HAPPY PRIDE DAY!!!

I never really attend too many pride events...not because I don't think they are great..I honestly usually just forget.
And of course - I've never EVER been involved in a pride event before, I've watched the Windsor pride parade a few times, that' s about it...
This year - totally different.
Windsor - I must say - did a pretty good job this year with Saturday Summer Sizzle...
I mean, of course it was NO Toronto Pride by any means...but - Windsor is NO Toronto either..so - fair enough.
But - Charles Clark Square in downtown Windsor was PRETTY booming...beer tent, food, tons of really cool entertainment and of course - ME!
Hardly the star attraction, I did do a slam poem and it was really well recieved!!
It felt FANTASTIC and - sorry for sounding cheesey - it was one of the first times I actually felt like PROUD at a Pride fest!! But like, for real PROUD!!
It was really really cool...
Here's a few pics of the night...
This is Cyon Flare from Detroit. She creates her OWN costumes - which were AMAZING that night.
She sounded GREAT on the mic too! She really REALLy knew how to work the crowd and had TONS of energy enthusiasm and quite possibly - the most FABULOUS eye make-up I've ever seen!! Check out another great pic of Anna and Cyon on Anna's Blog!

Me and the much-talked-about Life Partner, being OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMBOYANT.
Aren't we just the BIGGEST pair of campy, off-the-wall QUEENS you've EVER seen!??!!?!?
Check out my risque costume!!! I tell ya - I was gonna give Sofonda a run for her money that night!
Kidding, of course.

Here is moi, posing with two FANTABULOUS women, the lovely Karmen known not only for her beading, knitting, crafting and creativity - but for her magic bullet creations as well. Check out her Magic Bullet Blog. And of course, pictured to the right is none other than my AMAZING sister-in-common-law who is EXACTLY like a REAL sister to me!! ANNA! She is a stylist, make-up artist, amazing hair dresser and a fashionista with a TRUE edge in the chic-department. She also sews a MEAN sock doggy!!!!
Look at my fun "ripped on purpose" shirt!! Don't the 3 of us look HOT? We were. It was fucking 100 degrees.

And a few beers later...faces are made and we start posing with our beverages as if they are our best friend.

On this magical and steamy (yet curiously queer) evening, they were exactly that.

I was just starting to feel a wee bit sassy in this photo, but I still had PLENTY of drinking to do.

Karmen and I were chatting about how it was weird not seeing many people we knew.

I guess I just don't know that many gay people any more...

Sad sad sad...

But, fuck it. We had the BIGGEST BLAST anyway.

And then there was my performance...

I was rather nervous, seeing as it was probably the BIGGEST crowd I have ever performed for - and it was the ONLY event where I was actually PROMOTED in...A Channel was there, CBC was there...Mel Deveau of AM 800's Windsor Now announced me...and ka-boom...I took the stage at Charles Clarke Square, nervously clutching a poem I wrote a few short hours before while sipping zinfandel and limes.
It was really cool. It was cool because I remember seeing my first gay windsor pride, like 8 years ago, and seeing some guy on stage talking about how he was gay and I remember thinking - "Wow...that guy has some courage, to go up on stage at DOWNTOWN WINDSOR and just lay it all out like that. " Funny how time changes things and you become something you never thought possible.
I never thought I would one day be that guy on stage, slamming about being PROUD to be gay.

Happy Pride to me :)

That's me and Mel Deveau and Joe McParland, the MC's of the event. Very sweet people...Mel is a very nice gal and I absolutely LOVE working with her!! Joe is a great guy too. He does the City Council report on TV for Cogeco cable...cool guy.

After i read, everyone was asking for copies of the piece - which contained a Madonna Vogue-style "rap" about Windsor Pride...i gave out MANY cards last night to MANY interested people...mostly, I'm just glad some people liked it...and I hope it made them proud :)

and of course....the grand finale...

SOFONDA COX!!!!

She put on a VERY good show...it reminded me what drag is all about. Crazy INSANELY cool costumes hot scantily clade male back-up dancer boys, pop culture references (she for real did a Tyra Banks America's Next Top Model skit!!) and a CRAZY SUPER MEGA EASY TO CONNECT with the audience attitude.

Very inclusive and itnteractive performer...she invited ALL drag queens to walk down the runway...a really energetic show.

The Gutter Boys - a Drag KING troupe from Detroit also performed...I would never cut anyone up for doing their thing on stage..but I think every one of us agreed...someting about Drag Kings...just lacks the showmanship..the FABULOUSNESS of a Drag Queen show.
Where Drag Queens magnify feminity and feminine stereotypes....Drag KINGS seem to be lack lustre because everything (including their creative energy) seems more subdued...

Whatever...regardless...a great night was had by all. Thank you to Anna for supplying these FANTASTIC pictures that I used on my blog!!!

My own sister showed up as well - which was TOTALLY awesome!!!! Awwwww!!!!!

Love you Lana!!!!

Talk to ya'll soon folks,

hearts and pride farts,

Dan

Fuckin' Rodeo in Leamington

IF you ever - EVER had a pet - or any animal that you TRUELY loved...please - PLEASE read EVERY WORD of this and act on it - if not for your own piece of mind - at least for the animals who seriously can't speak for themselves...or in memory or honour of the animal YOU love...

Now - keep in mind EVERYTHING I am about to describe is found ON the VERY website that promotes this show.
So NONE of this is vegetarian animal-hugging propaganda.
this is STRAIGHT from the people who are putting this show on and I will include their website.

Before I do -
here is the deal: There is a Rodeo coming to Leamington August 5th and 6th.
Not just any rodeo.
It is the North American Professional Cowboy rodeo (NAPC)
Rodeos are INSANELY inhumane to animals.
I don't care if you had a burger and chicken wings for lunch - that is the TRUTH.
RODEOS ARE INHUMANE.
Yeah - they have tons of historical and traditional weight behind them - but so does the fucking holocaust.
It's utterly disgusting that this bullshit is still looked at as entertainment.
I'm not speaking on the agenda of ANY group here - except the animals that are in this show - who - if they had free will certainly WOULD NEVER CHOOSE TO BE THERE.
NO ONE would EVER choose to be put in a show like this.
This is not right.
I don't care what anyone says - the Rodeo is WRONG.

Here are just a few of the "FABULOUS family fun events" happening - and remember - I am taking ALL of this info DIRECTLY from the NAPC website.

Bareback Riding
The contestant hangs onto the horse using only a custom fitted handhold in a rawhide and leather rigging. As in the saddle bronc riding, the mark out rule is in effect and a cowboy must have a consistent spurring motion to earn a high score. Marking for bareback spurring motion is different. Instead of going front-to-back the spurs start near the front of the neck and rake upwards almost to the rigging. After the horn goes, the pickup men ride alongside the horse to assist the cowboy in his dismount.

Team Roping
Requires two cowboys working together. The 'header' begins in the left-hand box behind a barrier. When the run begins he ropes the steer, ideally by the horns. After the catch is made, the header 'dallies', or wraps the tail of his rope around his saddle horn and turns the steer to the left. The 'heeler', who starts in the right box and trails along beside the steer until the header turns the steer, then moves in behind the steer and attempts to rope the back feet. If he only catches one hind foot, the team receives a five second penalty. The time stops when both ropes are tight, and the cowboys' horses are facing each other.

Steer Wrestling
After beginning behind a barrier, the steer wrestler rides along the left side of the running steer. He then slides off his horse, grabbing the steer by the horns. After stopping or turning the steer, the steer wrestler uses leverage, strength and technique to wrestle it to the ground. The clock stops when the steer is lying on its side with all four legs pointing the same direction. A 'hazer', a helper chosen by the steer wrestler who often gets a quarter of any prize money, keeps the steer in position in preparation for the contestant’s dismount.

Tie-Down Roping
The calf is given a predetermined head start. The horse must be able to catch the speeding calf, stop on a dime, and keep the rope taught. But the cowboy displays his skill too by roping a running calf, jumping off his horse, running down the rope to the calf and speedily tying it down with a pigging string. Three legs must be tied, at which time the cowboy throws his arms in the air to show the judge he's finished and the clock stops. The rider then goes back to his horse, remounts and loosens off the rope. If the calf does not free himself from the leg tie in six seconds, the roper's time will count.

Bull Riding
Bull riders must have the reflexes and the body control of a gymnast if they hope to be successful. A bull rider stays on by means of a flat braided rope with a loose handhold. Using his grip and a little dry resin, he keeps that rope tight around the girth of the bull, just behind the front legs. Bull riders are not required to 'mark out' the bull or spur at all times, but they increase their scores if they do. Once the rider is unseated, whether by his choice or the bull's, bullfighters move in to distract the bull, allowing the cowboy to get to safety.

That was tough for me to read.
Really hard. In fact - it made me fucking cry. Because I can't believe this shit is legal.
Yeah - why put myself through it and read that shit - that's so hard to read - but the point is - it's HAPPENING - it's coming TO TOWN.
Sucks to be poor me - with freedom - who has to be sad and depressed for about 3 minutes reading about the horrible shit that happens to these animals everyday.
And now - in our own town.
Kingsville anyway.

Seriously - do whatEVER you think you can to voice your opinion AGAINST these SICK MOTHER FUCKERS who do this bullshit humiliation to these beautiful animals who are NOT in ANY WAY ours to abuse.

What is WRONG with us???!?!?!

I'm so sorry I'm being so preachy here...seriously...but fuck.
I can't even wrap my head around this.

Here's the info.
WAAG will be doing letter-writing campaigns and there WILL be a peaceful demonstration on the day of the rodeo.

If any of you can come with me...I would appreciate it SO much. SO MUCH.
I have to go to this - I can't help the feeling in my GUT that it's so fucking wrong, such a violation of innocence - I know that sounds cheese - but I can't help it.

I feel like I ABSOLUTELY HAVE to do something...ANY SMALL THING to voice my absolute DISGSUST with what is going to go down in that park...

IF you want to help - email me at deadshark77@Hotmail.com and tel these MOTHER FUCKERS we arent' a fucking HICK TOWN who tolerates this bullshit.

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Organization:
North American Professional Cowboys

Where:
Easy Walking Stables, Kingsville, ON

More Info:
The NAPC rides into Leamington, ON for an Extreme Rodeo Saturday August 5th @ 6pm and Sunday August 6th @ 2pm at the Easy Walking Stables, Sun Parlour (Signs will be posted). Fans will get to watch some of the best from North America compete in Bronc Riding, Barrel Racing, Roping, and the WORLD's MOST DANGEROUS EVENT, BULL RIDING! Advance Tickets and Group Rates available. Call: (519) 796-0151or visit www.NAPCextreme.com

URL:
http://www.napcextreme.com/

UPCOMING SHOW!!!!

Hey peoples... I have another show coming up this Saturday - downtown Windsor in Charles Clarke Square...it all happens from 6 - to midnight (I go on around 8:30pm) and it's 5 bucks to get in - all going towards gay stuff - and there WILL be a cash bar there...it should be a party folks...here is what you can look forward too...if you want to see the website - where all this info is you can go to http://www.windsorpride.com/ and follow the links to Saturday SUmmer Sizzle...if not - here are the performers:

Performing at Saturday Summer Sizzle, July 29 at Windsor Pride 2006...

Sofonda Cox
Sofonda is one of a kind entertainment. She has toured the globe, performing exciting, energy filled shows in Malaysia, Mexico and all over North America, acting as a fixture of Prism, part of Toronto Pride for the past five years. Windsor Pride is thrilled to be able to bring Sofonda to entertain you during Saturday Summer Sizzle on July 29. She is truly Sexy, Sassy & Sensational! For all things Sofonda Cox, check out http://www.sofondacox.com/



The Gutter Boyz Fresh off their performance at our “Life is a Cabaret” fundraiser, Windsor Pride is ecstatic to welcome back The Gutter Boyz, one of the best Drag King shows you will ever see. They can also be seen on July 8 as part of London Pride.



Dan MacDonald - Slam Poet
Slam poet Dan MacDonald has been smearing his outrageous and no-holds-barred spoken word performance art all over Windsor for the last four years. From coffee shops to cabaret - his pieces will pull you into the closet to make out, dress you in drag and leave a curiously sweet taste in your mouth. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll gasp... you’ll sigh. And when its over, you’ll giggle like a teenage drama queen into the mirror, staring at the left over hickey on your neck. Unique, hilarious and undeniably, thought-provokingly QUEER!! But SHHHHHH!! He's a FLAMING closet case.

Detroit Together Men's Chorus Detroit Together Men's Chorus (DTMC), now in its 24th year, will be performing 'Misbehavin'. It was originally a show commissioned by the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus featuring Nell Carter. It comprises the familiar music of the 30's & 40's with such songs as: Blues in the Night, All That Jazz, Ain't Misbehavin', Tain't Nobody's Business If I Do, Drop Me Off in Harlem, It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got that Swing' just to name a few. DTMC is proud to have with them, Miss Peggy Lee (the Diva for this concert - and yes, it is her real name)! Click here for more about the Detroit Together Men's Chorus

Melanie Deveau (AM800) & Joe McParland (Cogeco) - Masters of Ceremonies
Melanie Deveau and Joe McParland ask the tough questions when on air, which is why they look forward to letting loose as co-hosts of Saturday Summer Sizzle in Charles Clark Square on July 29. Neighbours and close friends, Melanie and Joe will make a great team and we are thrilled to have them anchor our first outdoor party event. Click here for information on Melanie's show "Windsor Now" on AM800 and check out Joe every second Monday for his Wrap-Up of Windsor City Council on Cogeco TV 11.

Hope to see you ALL there folkies!! HAP HAP HAPPY Pride!!!!
Daniel

Cuz Ya Gotta Have...Faith: An Open and Long Overdue Fan Letter To Mister George Michael

Oh Georgie Georgie Georgie...
The crush I had on you as a child...
Why, it seems like just yesterday - even though it was 1987 - I stepped into Sam the Record man on Ouellette avenue and picked up the cassette tape - FAITH.
I stared into that album cover on the way home, trying to figure out what was behind those gorgeously HOT mirrored aviator sunglasses (so ahead of your time! so fashion-forward!) but try as I did..I just couldn't get my 10 year old finger on it...
You gave me faith...
you WERE my father finger...
- and I have to admit - i fuckin' wanted YOUR SEX DAAANG BAD, for just a boy.
When you shook your ass in that video by the jukebox and banged on that guitar in your biker's leather jacket - I think you damn near brought on puberty TWO WHOLE YEARS EARLY!
Those tight jeans - hell George - you even pulled off cowboy boots, and unless you're one of Madonna's shirtless and oiled backup dancers - that's a damn NEAR impossible feat to conquer.
But Georgie...you were so much more than that.
So much more than just a pretty face, so much talent so much rhythm such a great voice...
I was in love.
Then I heard, you had a girlfriend and I knew - knew in my deepest and most HIDDEN of hearts, that it couldn't be true - COULDN'T be true - just flat out no way COULD it POSSIBLY be true!
But it was.
Then you threw out your leather jacket and your quest for popularity, your pop licks and catchy riffs and dropped Listen Without Prejudice Volume 1 on our unsuspecting ears...and I knew...I knew you were the FIRST GREAT MALE PROTEST POP STAR tossing away conventions and creating brand new ones with the single flick of a cigarette....
Georgie...Tyra Banks, Linda Evangalista, Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell ALL OWE YOU their finest pair of stilettos...cuz I didn't know what the word SUPER MODEL MEANT - until you put them front and center in your videos...
But...you had a girlfriend...
And I gave up on you, my sweet sweet Georgie.
What was once a childhood fantasy - was left to gather dust on the back shelf of my mind and I left my childhood, sadly behind.
And then one dark day in 1998 you were in the headlines more than you were back in '88 for being "pop's new boy wonder"....
You wagged your George-Michael-Cock at an Under-cover-cop in a dirty, public men's room stall.
A hush falls over the room.
Hands raise to mouthes.
Queue "I Want Your Sex Part II".
"I Knew it I knew it I knew it...
I KNEW!!"
The big "coming out" parties insued, the mirrored-glasses were back on and you shook that SAME ass that's probably seen more action than the tilt-a-whirl in an uber-gay video complete with disco ball urinals and masculine but faggy cops.
Hot hot hot...
HOT.
ANd this time...you had a boyfriend....
And there was talk of marriage...
And Georgie...you FINALLY seemed happy.

UNTIL THIS SHIT HITS THE FAN:
George Michael caught in illegal sexcapade again!
Singer George Michael has been cruising the streets for illegal gay sex once again, and was caught on tape after a romp with a jobless van driver in a London park.
George Michael’s wedding to his lover, Kenny Goss, has been cancelled.
The pair was supposed to mark the 10th anniversay of their relationship with a wedding ceremony but the couple has called it off for now.
According to a source: “They are reassessing their relationship at the moment so there are no immediate plans. Things are very much up in the air.”

Well Georgie...
I can't say I'm impressed. A romp with a jobless van driver in a London park?
Who cares that he's jobless or that it happened in London Park..but please...he drove A VAN!??!
That means me and shitbanger COULDA had a chance with ya...
It was a sad day for this Georgie fan, and for the first time...I wasn't so turned on with the mental image of Georgie cavorting with some van driving park cruising man.
Not that I think there's anything wrong with it.
He wasn't hurting anyone...but - it shatters the romantic and gay iconic pedestal I had placed him on...
Had I been in London Park that night, I might very well have had a shot with you too, Georgie.


Then it all made sense.
I knew EXACTLY why you hid behind those mirrored fashion forward aviator sunglasses for all those years...
Why you never showed your eyes and for such a long time - no one - not even your own girlfriends or even your own BOYFRIEND knew who you were really were...
You were a victim of internalized homophobia...gay sex is something you hide, something you have in private, in hidden, dirty bathroom stalls with strangers who won't know who you are...low profile, leather jacket up and covering your eyes so no one will recognize that the dick they are sucking is pop rock's royalty - the boy wonder turned anti-celeb.

We'll never really know you George...
But, we'll always love ya...

And we won't give up on ya...

Why not?

Well...I guess, cuz you said it best back in 1987, my man...

"Ya gotta have faith."

Hearts and farts...

Danny

Girls! Girls! Girls!...on Girlie So Groovie!!!

Recognize her?
She is going to be on Girlie So Groovie - my radio show - very, very soon.
It is none other than - NINA GORDON formerly of VERUCA SALT - one of my ALL TIME favorite bands from highschool!!!!!
Nestled at a very cozy spot of #25 GREATEST rock and roll albums on Girlie So Groovie - it will be an HONOUR to have this princess of glam-grunge on the air.
The craziest shit:
Her manager came to ME!!!!!
I didn't even request an interview!
So - yeah!! It's been one fuck of a kick ass year for me and my show.
Since October alone, I've had Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls, Kathy Valentine of the Go-Go's, Debbi Peterson of the Bangles and now Nina Gordon of Veruca Salt.... !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
HOLY SHIZAH!!!
So yeah...it's moving along nicely...should be about 2 weeks and she'll be on - to promote her BRAND NEW album "Bleeding Heart Graffiti"....
if you go to www.myspace.com/girlbandsrock - which is the Girlie So Groovie my space page - you can hear her first single.
Different than Veruca Salt...but hell - it's a solo career!!! I'm happy to have her on! Been an admirer for some time now...
And..tonight, I was planning on doing a pride show - and play nothing but lesbian female musicians, in honour of Windsor Pride.
So, I was making out my list...when all of a sudden, the phone rings.
Who is it on the other line?
Why, this gal:
Her name is Nancy Rancourt - she is a lesbian performer from Toronto and she wanted to know if she can be on my show - TONIGHT!!
The cool shit - she is playing gay pride Windsor THIS SUNDAY!!!
Can you imagine?
Could it be timed out better???
Keep in mind ladies and gents - none of this is me - this is pure fate working for me, I got handed this on a silver fucking platter!
I just HAPPEN to be compiling a list of lesbian singers to play tonight, and out of the blue - a lesbian performer gives me a ring saying she'd like to come on my show - AND it has a local slant since she will be playing pride in less than a week!!!
Absolutely PERFECT!!!
So yeah...should be a cool night. I'm scrambling right now to find some songs to download so i have something to play..I"m hoping the station will have a copy of her CD.
Anyway, I am out for now...just had to pass along the info about these two exciting performers and their appearances on my show!

Fuck...Veruca Salt...holy fuckin shit for real!!!!

hearts and farts and SEETHERS,

Dan

The Night I've Been Waiting For All My Life.

Well brothers and sisters, it looks like July 15th 2006 will live forever in my memory as the day I finally got to MEET my favorite band in the entire world.
Susanna Hoffs, Vicki Peterson and Debbi Peterson - in the flesh, up close and personal giving hugs and shaking hands, CDs signed and pictures snapped.
I did it all.
It was literally - a dream come true. Seriously. Sounds cheese - but honestly - It's been 21 years of worshipping the ground these artists walk on - so to FINALLY come face to face...holy fuck.
Mind you - I had to BUST SOME ASS to get back stage.

Let's rewind a bit...
Julie, Life Partner and myself left Windsor around 2pm and crossed the border. It was about an hour and a half drive to Lansing Michigan - the Common Ground Music Festival.
Tickets said gates opened at noon.
We got there at 3:30 - and gates were STILL not open. Thank GOD we didn't get there at noon.
Anyway, coincidence or not - the gates just HAPPENED to open at 3:30 (how weird and random is THAT?!?!) so we immediately b-lined it for the stage and scored a nice cozy spot SECOND ROW.
Not front row, but - close all the same.
Since we had our seats saved, we decided to walk around the fair and see what was up...The Bangles weren't going on until 9:30pm..so we had plenty of time.
We bumped into my dear friends Nicole and Tracy and their friend Heather - and we decided to do what any other antsy and HOT Bangles fans would do with some time to kill: Hit the beer tent.
Now - anyone who has ever gone to a concert with me before - knows I get..."concert panic".
I get nervous, antsy, shakey - just borderline PANIC attack.
You can imagine my state of mind KNOWING that I was inside the SAME PARK as the Bangles.
Long story short: I downed about 4 pints of Heineken and got a DANG good buzz going on to calm my ass down.
Now earlier that week I had the ULTIMATE DREAM COME TRUE: the pleasure of speaking with Debbi Peterson - drummer for the Bangles - a few nights back over the telephone to interview for Girlie So Groovie, my radio show. Apparently their manager saw my show's website and saw that they were at the top of the LIST! So she emailed me - and calle dme and actually told me that Vicki Peterson SAW my website and LOVED IT and was HONOURED to be among such "hallowed female musicians".
Vicki fucking PETERSON looking at my website!! can you imagine?!?!?!
Anyway, her sister Debbi told me there was a meet and greet happening at 8:30 in the park that night.
That was all she knew.
Except - that it was a private meet and greet and to get by security - i had to contact some guy who was running the fair - and she lovingly gave me his name and number to contact.
I had been calling him a few days prior and leaving polite messages.
Nothing.
Nada.
No answer.
He never got back to me.
Now - being at the show - and it nearing 7 o'clock...I knew I had to get my schmoozing skills on...if I wanted to get back stage.
I first approached the backstage security...
"Excuse me," I said, hoping to GOD they couldn't smell the beer on my breath.
"Is there some kind of meet and greet going on tonight..?"
"No." Replied the security guard.
Knowing I KNEW there WAS a meet and greet, I refused to take a simple "NO" as an answer...
"Hmm," I began. "See - I spoke to this person named Chris Myers (lie). I'm actually from Windsor - Canada - and I drove up especially for this show. I was helping out with promotions on the other side of the border - Chris told me there was a meet and greet at 8:30 tonight and said to ask security and mention his name.."
"Well," the security guard said, his interest obviously peaked, "Do you have a pass - or ANY KIND of proof you work at a radio station on you?"
Fuck FUck Fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK i thought to myself.
I had fucking media passes and radio station ID tags GALORE - with my PHOTO on it - at home of course.
I silently cursed myself for not having Girlie So Groovie cards made and sadly replied "NO, I do not."
"Well then," he replied. "I Can't Help You."
And that was it.
Turned away.
I was crushed.
I mean, yeah - I still had the taped interview with Debbi and myself...I was still going to see them front row..but seriously.
I knew in my HEART i DESERVED to meet them that night.
I owed to myself - and to the little 8 year old I USED TO BE who dreamed of one day rubbing shoulders with the band who saved him.
I felt a fire in my belly and decided, it ain't over til the fat lady sings.
I was gonna meet this band one way or another.
I began making the rounds to all the security guards around the stage, asking about a meet and greet - all of them telling me the same thing.
I went up to a "MEMBERS ONLY" section and asked point blank - if they knew of a way I could get backstage.
They were polite - but said they were sorry - there was nothing they could do.
Swalloing defeat is tough - especially when your heart is set on something.
Sadly, I gulped it down and made my way back to my group of friends, waiting patiently.
"Not gonna happen," I said and I started to realize that regardless - I'd still be second row.
So, I decided to buy 2 JUMBO southern comfort slushies to wash away my pain.
8pm rolled around, and we decided to make way to our seats.
The opening act was some Michigan Latin dance band...good...but, even the music and steel drums, which I normally love, couldn't wash away the aching feeling that in just mere MINUTES - the Bangles would be meeting a small and private group of people, and I wouldn't be one of them.
Then, Life Partner nudged me.
"What's going on over there?" he asked, pointing beside the stage.
A small - i mean 10 people small - line up formed near the fence that led to backstage and a secrurity guard stood in front of it.
I checked my watch.
8:25pm.
That was the meet and greet line.
I looked at Life Partner and at Julie.
"Go for it!" he said.
I was up - and walking steadily towards the velvet rope that led to the line.
Determination furowed my brow and my gaze was set on a spot.
I Gently lifted up the velvet rope- crouched underneath and nabbed me a place in the meet and greet line.
I immediately started chatting up this nice couple who drove 5 hours to see the show, to try to blend in as someone who was SUPPOSED to be there - but never taking my eye off the gate that stood in front of us.
I knew the Bangles were just behind that gate.
The bouncer looked at me, but said nothing.
"I'm in," I thought.
Then, he came over.
"Can I see your pass?" he said.
"Pass?" I replied? "I spoke with Chris Myer - he didn't say anything about a pass. He told me to meet here for the 8:30 PRIVATE meet and greet - he said media was welcome...I've been promoting the show in Windsor."
"You need a pass," he said.
I pulled out my driver's license and handed it to him.
"Look," i said, trying to hold it together. "I'm here by myself. I interviewed the band on Tuesday...they told me about tthis meet and greet and Chris Myers SAID I am supposed to be here."
TOTAL LIE.
"I'm not here to cause trouble. I brought 25 people with me from Canada to this show.....please..."
He stared at my driver's license.
"Honestly sir, he didn't say a WORD about a pass..."
The bouncer paused and looked up at me...
"And you spoke with who?" He asked.
"I spoke with Chris Myers. He's organizing the event..."
Never spoke with him.
"I know who he is..one minute...I'll ask him..." and the bouncer disappeared behind the gate.
FUCK FUCK FUCK, I silently cursed.
Done. I'm fucking done. He'll talk to Chris and realize I am lying - Chris never fucking called me back..oh my god..I'm fucked.
The gate opened, and the line began to move.
"Can you please step aside," he said.
My heart sank.
I stepped aside while everyone walked passed me inside.
The bouncer ducked in after them, shutting the gate.
A few fans began to crowd around me, asking how to get in.
I felt a lump in my throat.
The gate opened and the bouncer pointed directly at me.
"You," he said. "You're in."
The rest happened in slow motion.
I walked into the gate - and standing not even 10 feet infront of me was Susanna Hoffs, Vicki Peterson and Debbie Peterson.
Let me just say - they are more beautiful in real life. Either they have some DAMN good jeans - or they have a pact with the devil, because they look better today than they did back in '86.
People were allowed to go up in twos and chat with them.
I just stood in awe thinking about my entire life and how long I had been waiting for this MOMENT and i twas finally happening.
ENJOY THIS NOW a voice said in my head - because so help me GOD I started to tear up a tiny bit.
I was the last one allowed in. The ONLY one without a pass.
I waited as people one by one waited their turn to stand and chat with the Bangles.
Finally - it was my turn.
I walked up to Debbi while Vicki and Susanna were finishing with the last two people...
"Debbi...hey!! I'm Dan..who you talked to on Tuesday!"
"OH my god!!!!! DAN!!!"
She hugged me!!!!
*MELTING LIKE BUTTER!!!*
"It's so nice to meet you! Your interview was SOOO Fun!!! most interviews are blah-blah...yours was great! I'm so glad you got back stage...!"
"I had to wheel and DEAL" I replied..."It's so awesome to finally meet you..."
I knew my time was limited.
"It's nice to meet someone I actually talked to!" she said "Instead of just all these strangers coming up...it's hard when you have NOTHING to talk about..."
My head was honestly spinning. NOt only was I fucking TALKING face to face with Debbi Peterson - but she was talking to me like she fucking KNEW me.
She saw that I had a CD inlay in my hand and she said she'd sign it...
I offered my BACK for her - and there I was - Bangle on my BACK signing my CD!!
"To Dan - *heart* Debbi!!"
By this time, Vicki and Susanna were done talking to the other fans - and Debbi said:
"Vicki...this is the guy i talked to on Tuesday...with the website..."
Vicki looked at me for a moment, obviously no CLUE who I was and extended her hand and I said "Dan, from Girlie So Groovie".
No fucking WORD of al ie...recognition sparked in her face and she said "YES!! Your website!! I've looked at your website YES OF COURSE!!!"
(She turned to Susanna Hoffs...)
"Susanna! This is Dan! The guy with the website I was telling you about..."
NO FUCKING WAY.
Okay.
Not only was I meeting the band - they all FUCKING HAD TALKED ABOUT ME BEFORE!!!!
For real.
Susanna Hoffs had NOt seen my website but shook my hand and asked what it was all about.
"It's for my radio show...it's all female musicians - I pretty much started the show because of your band - sounds weird - but it's true!"
"Trust me," Vicki piped in to Susanna "He has a GREAT webiste..."
Debbi then pointed towards a camera...and put her arm around me..and that was it:
*FLASHBULB*
Me and the Bangles - polarized in time forever.
"It was great meeting you Dan," Vicki Peterson said.
I had no CLUE what to say...except: "THank you SO much...THANK YOU..."
Then I turned to Susanna...
"And Susanna Hoffs," I began...
"OH GOD!! I can't believe I just called you 'Susanna Hoffs'!!!" - she started laughing... "I absolutely LOVE your album with Matthew Sweet - that was kick ass..."
"Thank you," she said...and that was it.
I gave my email to the photographer - PLEASE LORD LET HIM EMAIL - nothing yet as of today...
But - done.
I felt like the show was over after that for me. That ws a climax.
During their set - each Bangle smiled at me a few times during the show or pointed or nodded with recognition..and during Walk Like an Egyptian, Debbi spotted us - and walked DIRECTLY over to our side and jammed guitar STRAIGHT at us...
It was fucking amazing....
Their set list:
Bitchen Summer
Manic Monday
Live
The Rain Song
Walking Down Your Street (spliced with Jimi Hendrix's FIRE)
Here Right Now
If She Knew What She Wants
Going Down To Liverpool
Hazy Shade of Winter
Watching The Sky
Ride The Ride
In Your Room
Walk Like An Egyptian (spliced with Mrs. Robinson)
encore:
Hero Takes A Fall
Eternal Flame

It was a beautiful night - the weather was one of those PERFECT summer nights we only ever dream about, there was a fucking CARNIVAL in the background and the sky was SMEARED with pink and navy blue streaks - stars were out and the Bangles sounded better than I ever DREAMED they possibly could.
It was one of the best nights of my life.
In short - I felt like when I was 8 years old - I threw a pebble in an ocean, and it caused a TINY ripple.
21 years later, the ripple finally reached me - I met this amazing band - and they knew exactly who I was.
It took time, but everything just somehow fell exactly into place on this incredible night - straight down to the gates opening randomly the SECOND we arrived, even though the ticket said noon. Had the gates opened at noon - we would have been further back and I could not have jumped into the meet-and-greet line so easily.
It just all came back around.

If that isn't fucking poetic - I don't know what is.

Hearts and farts daydreamers...

Dan

TONIGHT!!!!

I SERIOUSLY feel like I've waited my ENTIRE LIFE for TODAY!

Words can't EVEN express how excited I am about this show tonight.

more to come...

Dan

ps - had a 20 minute phone conversation with DEBBI PETERSON on Tuesday...I'm still in shock so I haven't had a chance to really THINK about it and post about it...but after I see them live tonight, I'll have a STELLAR review for you for tomorrow...

hearts and bangles...

Elephants

It feels fucking GOOD to give a big FUCK YOU to something you do NOT agree with.

I did my very first EVER animal protest today - and it wasn't what I expected at all.
I was invited by the awesome people who run animal airwaves on cjam 91.5fm (their show is monday 4 - 5pm) to come out and protest the Shrine Circus tonight.
I went and held a sign that had a picture of an elephant foot with a chain around it, and font that looked like a Circus poster that said "The Ugliest Show On Earth".
It was weird.
More than feeling GOOD about myself - I felt like a fucking STUDENT in a weird way.
LIke, this sounds cheese - but a student of LIFE - for real.
SOmething I TRUELY know NOTHING about.
Listening to these 20 other activists talking amongst themselves about things that I felt STRONGLY about - but still had NO IDEA ABOUT...it was a learning experience.
They didn't speak in theory, they didn't speak in any kind of selfish language - their NUMBER ONE CONCERN - was that there might be some creatures inside this building who don't want to be there - and would NEVER have ANY CHANCE of voicing their opinion or being heard.
Listening to them talk, saying "they are NOT for our entertainment...", talking about how they are NOT given water 5 hours before the show so they won't pee in the circus ring (have you ever seen an elephant piss??)...talking about how they are kept in chains around their ankles...talking about them like they were BEINGS, individuals, done wrong.

Because that's all they are. Beings, done wrong.

Like, seriously. Look at what we do to them. Take them, sell them and make them wear costumes, call them an "investment", deprive them of food and make them perform for us - whether they like it or not?

It's humiliation. If we kidnapped a human and made them perform for a roaring crowd who wanted to see more - and not pay them - just keep them in captivity...we'd call it slavery.

but do it to an elephant - and it's somehow entertainment?

At the same time - it's not illegal. But there are a lot of things that go on that SHOULD be illegal - and a lot of things that SHOULDN'T be illegal...so legalities are pretty much politics.

This one, should be just common sense.

"They wouldn't last HALF as long in the wild," a Shriner yelled at our group. "ANd if they did, POACHERS would kill 'em anyway..."

"Yeah." Replied one of the animal activists. "And we protest the poachers too. How does that make what YOU are doing - the CORRECT thing to do? You just compared their lives with the circus - to their alternative being KILLED."

"You need to lighten up and just start enjoying things," one said.

"Tell that to the elephants," another said back.

Now I'm not about putting my opinion ON any body. At all. If someone's opinion differs - cool. But - I'm a stubborn fucker - and tonight - I have to admit - I was touched MORE than I can even admit. It just all of a sudden became MORE than a fucking Peta add on my computer screen.

More than some stupid leaflet I read or pamphlet I get in the mail.

It was a group of people who all wanted the animals replaced with HUMANS - like Cirque de Soleil - anything...just get rid of the bears in tutus, the elephants on bicycles and the donkey scared into JUMPING OFF A DIVING BOARD into a pool.

They aren't supposed to do that.

The chains are made pretty with plastic covers and velvet ropes - but they are STILL fucking chains.

Many times, during a stunt - they blindfold the elephants, so they can't see what's happening because the FEAR would be SO intense - it would send them into a psychotic RAGE - and their SOLE motivation in the stunt - is NOT the skilled training of a professional "animal CONQUERER" - it is PURE instinct to SURVIVE.

It's fear motivated.

And the crowd goes wild.

I'm not going to knock anyone for EVER eating meat - or even for WATCHING a circus and paying for it.

But after tonight - I just feel like something clicked.

I want to go to MORE of these - and not PREACH - just OBSERVE the mentality of the people who attend and their attitudes.

Some don't even want to go inside the buildings, they stared at our leaflets with sadness in their eyes or passed on sympathetic smiles to us while they were dragged ahead by their husbands or kids. Some guys tried to start fights with protestors.

Some bitch and yell...

"Did you know, there's a fuckin WAR going on over in AMERICA? What about starving kids, huh? What about our boys fighting over there? Huh? What about child abuse? What about that? Or pollution? What about that huh?"

I know. It's all awful.

But does ignoring ALL of it help anything?

Sure - you can't fix EVERYTHING. Shouldn't you pick ONE THING - and TRY - even if it's JUST YOU - to change at least ONE OTHER PERSON'S MIND - or at least give a different option they can consider on a certain topic you feel MIGHT not be the best option?

Offer a different TAKE on something?

NOthing about the protest was aggressive. Nothing. We stood - on a street and held signs. Out of EVERYONE's WAY - waving to cars who honked.

Finally - one of the organizors came around - and asked if any of us would like to be more "hands on" - and maybe put our signs down and actually hand out flyers and talk to people.

No one volunteered - so I said I'd do it, even though i was the new guy.

She handed me a pack of flyers and stationed me on a corner - and - it was GREAT.
It was people reaction and response to the 9th degree.

All I did was ask "Would you like a flyer about animals in the circus?"

Some took them, some declined. Regardless - it was fucking GREAT. I handed out over 50 flyers. Tons will end up in the garbage I'm sure, but one or two might read them.

At any rate - today was a step for me.

I left that place feeling AWESOME - feeling like I MAYBE helped someone see a different side to something - and I felt amazing talking to people who felt the EXACT same as I did.

I sound brainwashed now...don't worry. I was still half waiting for some vegan nut to come barelling in with an organic hand grenade and blow us all up....but luckily , that never happend.

Instead - I met a bunch of nice people who I TOTALLY agreed with and I related to a cause in a way I have never related before.

Protest rocks.

We should ALL do it...a BIG FUCK YOU to WHATEVER we don't like...for real.

hearts and elepharts,

dan

Terrorists

Can you imagine if this were the other way around? If Iraqi soldiers were staying in OUR country and then just "decided" that they kinda-sorta wanted to fuck some yung 20-something Canadian chick, so they got their other Iraqi buddies to stand guard outside HER HOUSE (it could be YOUR house) while the other two go in - KILL HER FAMILY and then rape her - then KILL HER!??!!?
Could you imagine if Iraqi soldiers did this in Canada - or heaven forbid - the U.S.???
For real - nuclear weapons would probably be deployed for real.

But no.
Iraqi soldiers are NOT doing that to us.
They aren't over here.
But we are over THERE acting like a bunch of fucking animals.
Here's a LOVELY story - just CHARMING about what a couple of fucking CRIMINALS did over in Mahmoudiya..

This information came largely from Army investigators, who interviewed at least three of the five soldiers allegedly involved in the Mahmoudiya incident.
An Army official said that besides Green, none of the soldiers had been charged or detained but were under close supervision in Iraq.
Green and the other soldiers came from the 502nd Infantry Regiment, which is attached to the 4th Infantry Division.
In Ahlers' affidavit, two of the soldiers described themselves as mainly standing watch outside the civilians' house while Green and another soldier — identified as Known Participant 1 — allegedly raped the woman.
The third soldier interviewed said he was told to stay behind and monitor the radio while the others went to the woman's house.
All three have submitted sworn statements.
According to their accounts, Green and the other soldier were drinking alcohol — a prohibited activity for U.S. troops in Iraq — while manning a checkpoint on the night of March 11.
They started talking about having sex with the woman, whom they had seen during a visit to her house.
The house was about 650 feet from the checkpoint, one soldier told investigators.
After the decision was made to rape the woman, according to the FBI affidavit, three of the soldiers changed out of their uniforms and into dark clothes.
One soldier told investigators that Green covered his face with a brown T-shirt.
One of the soldiers told investigators he changed clothes so he "wouldn't be seen."
The affidavit said that four of the soldiers then grabbed three rifles and a shotgun and headed to the house.
The fifth soldier was said to have stayed behind at the checkpoint.
According to the accounts of the two who stood guard, Green went into a back bedroom, closed the door and shot three family members.
An Army official said the three were believed to be the woman's mother, father and sister, approximately age 5.
"Green came to the bedroom door and told everyone: 'I just killed them, all are dead,' " the FBI affidavit said.
Around the same time, the soldier identified as Known Participant 1 grabbed the woman — believed to have been about 20 — and threw her on the floor, the affidavit said.
The two soldiers acting as guards told investigators that Green and the other soldier raped the woman before Green picked up an AK-47 assault rifle he had found at the house and killed her."
After the rape, [one guard] witnessed Green shoot the woman in the head two to three times," the affidavit said.
One of the soldiers who stood watch said Green later told him to dispose of the AK-47 in a canal across the street from the checkpoint.
All four soldiers, who returned to the checkpoint with bloody clothes, burned what they were wearing, according to the soldier who said he monitored the radio during the attack.
The incident was brought to the attention of U.S. forces the next day, when Iraqis told soldiers at the checkpoint that four members of their family had been killed and the house had been set on fire.
The incident did not raise suspicions at the time because it was believed to have been the work of insurgents.
Army investigators took at least 15 photos of the scene, the FBI affidavit said, which show three dead Iraqis, including the young girl, with bullet wounds.
Other photos show the burned body of what appears to be a woman with blankets thrown over her upper torso.

What is going on, for real??

Fag Fest 2006: Thummer Thizzle (Summer Sizzle to all your straights)

Ladies and gentlemen - my latest poetic appearance will have me re-arranging and dis-engaging the respected and refined art of poetry in my GAYEST appearance YET:

SUMMER SIZZLE!!

Saturday July 29th - Charles Clarke Square.
Right in the heart of downtown Windsor.
6pm - Midnight.
$5 @ the gate...

(insert SCREAMING sounds here)

Yet another gay pride fundraiser. I bumped into one of the organizers at Festival Epi-pen today and he once again reminded me that I was asked to do a "family oriented" poem for Pride night.

I couldn't resist. Of COURSE I'll do it!!! Even though I am not yet on the flyer - a blurb will soon be up about me on the Pride Web site...the Tit Sleaze girls will be there as well - and I am hoping I can once again just perform with them...because franky - I just love 'em...and I feel FAR more comfortable with them.

I need the girls to back me up....

But yeah - it happens July 29th from 6pm to Midnight in Charles Clarke Square - 5 bucks to get in - drag performers (king and queen), sluts, skanks, and little ole MOI!

It should be a good time though...there WILL be booze served...and it WILL be G-rated..which is an absolute FIRST for me - and it's still a challenge I am not completely sure I am comfortable with.

But, I'll do it for the queers. I have to.

I'll keep you updated on what's up with this show...I really hope some of you can make it!

Laters,

Dan

Time Goes By...(so slowly....) SO QUICKLY!!!

CENSORED!!!

(just kidding)

But - I hate bashin' people!!!

Festival Epicure ROCKED :)

(Rub and) Tug Boat. Tuffy, that is...

See the blow up tug boat...?
Fuck, how could you NOT?
Check out the size proximity to the people...
Puuurty big.
I drove that bitch in the Canada Day Parade!
It was cool...scary, but cool.
It fits over the van, like a big...well...inflatable balloon - and you CANNOT see a fucking thing when you're inside it.
Get this:
They hook a fucking video camera OUTSIDE the float, and it feeds a monitor on the INSIDE of the van - and THAT'S how you see where you're going.
I can barely see as it is. I can barely drive as it is!!!
Nevermind looking through a tiny, 8 inch monitor that keeps cutting out every two seconds.
So there I am, straining to see this monitor - PRAYING I am driving straight and slow enough - but not TOO slow...and HOPING above and beyond ANYTHING that I don't feel a BUMP in the road in the form of a small child.
Or a kitty...or a mother or father...or fuck - a fellow parade goer.
Can you imagine - I wipe out the entire Motor City Marching band with a single engine rev??
Trust me - with Tuffy the Tugboat - anything is possible.
But yeah - that pic is of me, Saturday, inside Tuffy getting ready to drive her straight down Ouellette avenue in a state of parade-induced Canada Day panic.

After the parade, I had a far easier task at hand. The lovely Steph Kane - my co-worker - and my own bad self got to judge the Bed Races.
This is where a bunch of smoking hot servers and bartenders decorate up a bed anyway they want, slap wheels on it - take off their shirts, get all sweaty and then have a testosterone charged pissing contest to find out which server can push their bed down Riverside Drive the fastest.

(insert motor revving sound here).
(insert cat-in-heat-sounds here).

Steph and I were representing the station and had to give the prize to MOST CREATIVE BED.
We gave it to Woody's - because they did have the coolest bed ...and, in case you're wondering - the "hottest staff award" goes to the men and ladies of the Hilton.

No - it was all innocent fun...really cool. I got a bitch of a (farmer's) tan on my arms, which I am not too impressed with - but other than that - it was a GREAT time.

I hope I get the chance to drive a big, inflatable blow up tug boat down Ouellette again...although I fear it may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Ah well....one dream accomplished.

I'm off to watch Top Model...

hearts and farts,

Dan